TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARMING TICS

Alonzo. Yikes.

His hulking, terrifying figure froze in the door before his entire body turned towards the glass doors as he stepped out onto the patio.

Ha! You pissed them off! You loser. Of course you did!

I anxiously tugged on my hair, freaking out as Alonzo rounded the pool and headed straight for me. I began to back up slowly, panicking as he said nothing, only getting closer and closer.

"Luca Matteo. You better not be backing up right now," Alonzo's ice-cold voice rang out, and I froze. I tugged harder on my hair, completely oblivious to the stinging on my scalp.

He stepped right up to me and I flinched harshly, even though he hadn't even raised a hand. I stumbled backward, tripping on a stone as I fell, still scrambling backward.

"P-p-please d-don't h-hurt m-m-me. P-p-please," I managed to whimper. That was the loudest I had spoken in a long time, and it came out in a jumbled, whimpering, mess. Stupid.

I closed my eyes and braced for impact, shielding my face with one arm.

And... nothing.

After a minute or so, I slowly lowered my arm, only to see Alonzo, still standing in the same spot, looking... conflicted.

He was still so angry. I could practically see the rage burning behind his eyes, but there was also... devastation? He looked crushed.

As soon as it was there, though, it was gone. He cleared his throat, shaking his head, and gestured to me.

"Up you get. You're in a lot of trouble. You went on your little adventure, forgot to tell anyone, and decided to disappear for five hours?!" I could hear his voice rising, but every once in a while, he would release a breath, and it would lower again. Weird.

I slowly pulled myself off the ground, eyes downcast as tears blurred my vision. They're going to send you back to the others!

Oh, no. No no no no no. They wouldn't do that... would they? The panic was too overwhelming, and I made a run for it. Past Alonzo, I turned around, stopping him in his tracks, tears falling down my cheeks as I frantically grabbed his hand.

"P-p-please d-d-don't s-s-send me b-b-back, p-please. I'll b-b-be g-good, I p-p-promise," I stammered, tears falling down my cheeks.

I heard him suck in a breath, but I was too busy trying to get my hands to stop shaking to notice Alonzo's presence until he knelt in front of me.

"Luca," he called out, and my gaze shot up, to his face, directly in front of mine, "Take a breath, Luc. Inhale," he demonstrated, "And exhale. Just like that, there you go," he instructed, gently grabbing my hand and placing it on his chest to show the exaggerated breathing.

"We are not sending you back," he spoke firmly. "We wouldn't even consider it. You are our brother. You are an Accardi, just as much as the rest of us. We would never send you back there." He looked away momentarily, almost as if he was scolding himself...

"The point is," he drew my attention back, "We love you, Luca. Some of us..." he trailed off awkwardly, "Might have a... harder... time showing it, but it's there. Always." he sighed, "Capito?" (understood?) He looked as though he was waiting for a response, so I nodded, and he nodded once as well.

He stood up, and, so quickly I almost missed it, momentarily pressed his lips to the crown of my head on the way up, "Let's go, Luc. Gotta face the music."

꩜꩜꩜

And music there was. It's almost an entire symphony, I think.

"Where the hell have you been?" The minute we stepped back indoors, Marco was stalking towards us, a similar furious look in his eyes. The panic returned in full force, and I ducked behind Alonzo's form quickly, blinking back tears.

Shockingly, before I had to defend myself, Alonzo grabbed his arm and whispered something in his ear, forcing him to—albeit reluctantly—step back. His darkened gaze never once shifted from the back of my head as we continued into the living room.

"God, where have you been, Luca?" Gio's voice registered in my head just as he practically slid across the hardwood floor and scooped me into his arms, standing up immediately and cradling my shaking figure like a baby's.

Somehow, it worked, and mere moments later I was crying into his chest as he gently swayed us and whispered reassurances to me.

"I d-d-didn' m-mean t-t-to I s-swear I j-jus' w-wanted'a s-s-see the g-grass an' I g-got t-t-tired an' f-f-fell 's-sleep but I s-s-swear—" I sobbed softly, words tumbling out of my mouth as I tried to explain myself.

"Luca." A deeper, dominating voice interrupted my frantic ramble. My head shot up, teary, shaky gaze meeting Massimo's emotionless one.

I briefly looked around the room to avoid his piercing gaze, noticing all of my brothers scattered about the room. Marco was leaning against the doorframe, practically seething. Alonzo seemed stuck by the back door and Alessio was pacing behind the couch, biting his nails.

"Luca. Look at me," Massimo repeated, and my gaze shot back, tears still dripping down my cheeks as Gio gently ran his hand up and down my back.

"Take a deep breath. In," he prompted me to inhale, and I followed his demonstration, "And out," he exhaled, and I tried to do the same, my breath coming out in choppy, whiny, hiccups.

Seemingly, that didn't matter, "There you go, Luca. Again," Massimo continued until my breathing had evened out (as much as it could at the moment).

"Now, I am curious to know where you have been for the past," he casually checked his watch, "Over four and a half hours?" He raised an accusatory eyebrow and I tried to shift my gaze, but Gio's finger kept it in place.

"I just... I was... l-lonely.... A-and... s-so I t-thought I c-c-could g-go outside s-since it was j-just the b-backyard... and s-so I l-laid in the g-grass and... f-f-fell asleep... and then I didn't w-wake up 'til you g-guys were l-looking f-for me," I whispered. That's a lot of talking for one day.

My hands found their way into my hair and began to tug before Gio's larger palms overlapped mine and gently pried them out of my hair. I whined softly, but Massimo's next sentence redirected my attention.

"Luca. In this house, it is imperative that someone knows where you are at all times. I know you were just outside, but that does not matter. That was not made clear by us, and I apologize for that. However, in the future, you must alert us to your whereabouts if you would like to go elsewhere, hm?" Massimo shot me a pointed look and I nodded, sniffling and wiping my eyes.

"However," he continued and I tensed up, "Disappearing like that for such an extended period of time," he raised a palm up before I could even start to protest, "Is unacceptable, no matter the circumstances. Therefore, I believe... discipline... is in order." He spoke firmly.

Discipline. Discipline. Punishment. That's all it means.

He's gonna hit you! It's gonna hurt soooo bad, he's so much stronger than Frank. You're screwed! The Voice cackled.

Before I knew what was happening, I was flailing frantically in Gio's arms, catching him off guard and forcing him to let me drop, where I regained my footing and made a mad, panicked dash for the doorway.

Somehow, I managed to slide around Massimo before he could grab me, but my panic-blind vision deceived me, and I found myself wrapped in Marco's arms just before I reached the doorway.

A distressed whimper slipped from my lips as he lifted me off of the ground, and I flinched as Massimo approached, trying to protect my face and stomach as I brought my knees up to cover my already-bruised torso (not that they knew that).

"P-please don't. I'll b-be g-g-good, I p-promise," I whispered, eyes shut tightly and head tilted away, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks again. My fists were clenched so hard that I could feel the harsh sting of the glass cuts on my palms through the thick gauze bandages.

Eyes still closed, I jumped when I was transferred from one pair of arms to another, and despite the circumstances, I couldn't help but curl into the strong arms and chest, sniffling into the front of their—wait, suit?

My eyes shot up to meet Massimo's (double wait, emotional?) expression, but he just gently shushed me, placing one large palm on the back of my head and rubbing my hair, tucking my face back into his chest.

He hiked me up onto his hip, wrapping my legs so they were dangling around his hips and my arms so they were wrapped around his neck, my face still in his chest. He rubbed my back gently and I felt a few kisses and murmurs from my other brothers before we began to move.

Massimo walked slowly and silently through the house, humming soothingly as he went. His hand continued gently rubbing my back, occasionally running his hand through my curls, working through the tangles.

Eventually, I felt him lean over to set me down. I panicked, trying to leap back into his arms as I whimpered and more tears fell from my cheeks. I heard him let out a soft sigh, almost like a huff, before he stood back up, taking me back into his arms.

"It's okay, Bug. You're alright. I'm not going anywhere," he murmured as I curled back into his chest, sniffling as my eyes drooped. Somehow, Hobbes was still tucked into my elbow, and I gently rubbed my tears against his soft fur.

Massimo gently began to sway us, and somewhere, soft music began to play. It was so familiar, like an old memory just barely touching my consciousness, but I was too tired to think about it.

As I finally let my eyes slip closed, I faintly heard Massimo's low voice again, "Il mio ragazzo speciale," (my special boy).

꩜꩜꩜

EEK I'M STILL HERE DON'T FRET (ik everyone was worried). Stfu it's been like six days.

Sorry the voices go crazy sometimes.

Happy holidays/merry Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/New Year/anything y'all celebrate!!!

I hope everyone has been having amazing holidays and a good future NEW YEAR!!

I was away for a bit but I'm back so hopefully more chapters as soon as I'm not falling asleep! Let me know what y'all think! Lots of love

Rosie :)