TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARMING TICS

The car hit a bump, and I stirred again. This time, the thought of meeting my other brothers popped into my head, and the anxiety in my stomach forced me out of my sleepy state.

When my eyes opened, I realized we were back in the car. I was buckled in next to Massimo, and my head was pressed against his side. I shot up, feeling guilty. Massimo turned, noticing my awakeness.

Whatever softness I must've dreamt up was gone. "We're almost back" he murmured, nothing in those eyes. I nodded, scooting back to the window, planning to count the electrical poles again. But then the scenery caught my eye, and I couldn't help the soft gasp that slipped from my lips.

Lush, green, rolling hills for miles around. Vineyards sprawled far and wide, a few quaint brick houses scattered around. The sun was rising, casting a gentle, orange glow over everything. I got my face as close to the window as possible, just to watch.

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The car door opened and I leaned forward sleepily, the weight of my torso on my seatbelt as my head drooped forward, eyelids heavy. I must've fallen asleep again at some point. I barely registered Massimo's movements until he gently tugged on Hobbes, who was clutched against my chest, and I flinched, eyes snapping open as I held him close to my chest

"Whoa, bambino. It's okay. I was just getting both of you and making sure he wasn't going to fall," I relaxed slightly at his words, but I didn't believe him. People only want to hurt me, so I don't trust them.

I just nodded, unbuckling my seatbelt this time and hopping out of the car, wincing internally as pain wracked my body. I wasn't sure if the doctors had given Massimo any extra medicine, but I sure wasn't gonna ask for it.

Behind the boy, Massimo's shoulders slumped, almost imperceptibly. His heart hurt for the boy, though he didn't show it on his face.

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We made our way up the front path and I tried to keep my jaw hinged to the rest of my head. All around were massive gardens and vineyards. There was a massive staircase leading up to the house, and I struggled to conceal the amount of pain I was experiencing by the time we got to the front door.

Two hulking men in dark suits opened the massive oak doors for us, but I kept my eyes trained on the ground as we walked into the foyer the size of a small house.

I watched Massimo's shiny shoes turn to face me. "None of the others are home at the moment. Would you like to see your room?" My eyes widened slightly.

My room? I had my own room? Not the basement... or the closet... a... room? After hesitating, I nodded rapidly. I heard Massimo clear his throat, and then his shoes turned around and walked away. I followed silently.

After another unnaturally large set of stairs that made tears sprout behind my eyes, we reached a long, wide hallway. Pain throbbed through my body and I clenched my fists, the familiar stinging sensation returned as the old wounds reopened.

We walked down the hallway, passing numerous doors as we went. "My room, Giovanni's, Marco's, Alonzo's, Alessio's, and yours." The shoes came to a stop in front of the last door, identical to all of the others in the hallway. It was closed, but I made no move to open it.

I did, however, take note of the small, wooden plaque, right in the middle of the door (eye level if you were I giant, I suppose). Luca Matteo, it read. I finally raised my gaze to Massimo's blank expression.

My middle name? I wanted to ask, but I was too afraid. I hadn't spoken in a long time. I still had no desire to. Instead, I slowly, hesitantly raised one finger and pointed it at myself, as if to ask.

Something passed through Massimo's eyes briefly. Sadness? I couldn't tell. "Yes, Luca." his voice softened marginally. "All yours."

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Holy cow. Massimo had let me in and showed me around the room briefly before departing. It was amazing. And all... mine? That still felt weird to think about.

Now, I lay in the middle of the bed, staring up at the ceiling, letting my body rest for a moment. My ribs throbbed, and the nasty hot water burn on my upper back was stinging like crazy.

But I had a room. There were dinosaurs on the wallpaper and sheets on the huge, comfy bed. There was a desk, a whole closet, and my own bathroom! I still don't think I deserve this...

Of course you don't. The Voice mocked. The Voice had been with me for a while. Pretty much as long as I can remember. It doesn't go away.

You don't deserve any of this. They're going to realize how awful you are and leave you to fend for yourself. It mocked.

I clenched my fist with one hand and tugged on my hair with the other. That usually made it go away.

Noticing the blood on my palms, I decided to wash my hands. The cold water stung the open wounds, white with scar tissue from years of healing and being re-opened.

I scrubbed them out and dried my hands, wincing as I moved around the room. Hobbes was tucked in the crook of my arm, as per usual. He never left my side.

We talked for a bit, and I filled him in on how I was feeling. He knew about The Voice, and talking to him about it usually helped.

I pulled out my worn copy of The Essential Calvin and Hobbes from my tattered backpack and opened to the first page for the millionth time.

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A rapid knocking startled me from deep within Calvin's adventure, and I frantically tossed the book under the bed and hopped off, standing up straight, even as stars danced across my vision.

I hesitated. Who is it? I wanted to ask, but I didn't. Instead, I slowly crept to the door and opened it just a fraction, to see a vaguely familiar and very... excited... face.

The boy gasped and pushed open the door further, causing me to flinch and jump backward. I don't think he noticed. He only had white socks on. Should I have taken off my shoes? Stupid.

"Luca!" I heard the boy gasp. His feet were bouncing. I slowly moved my gaze up, analyzing his face. Young. Well, not like me. But younger than Massimo.

He was... smiling? Wide. Very wide. Why is he smiling so much? "Alessio. I-I mean, that's me. I'm Alessio. The youngest... well, not anymore." he spoke quickly, gesturing to himself awkwardly, still bouncing on his feet.

I hesitated. Then, slowly, I raised my hand and waved at him. His smile wavered for a moment, and then it was back. He waved at me.

"Alessio! Andiamo!"(let's go) A loud voice shouted, and I flinched. Alessio had turned to the door. Thankfully, he didn't notice. "Shit," he murmured.

"Sorry, fratellino. Was supposed to call you for dinner. We should... we should go." he chuckled, gesturing to the door. I nodded, dropping my gaze down. I waited for his feet to move, and mine followed.

We walked. And walked. And walked some more. This place is huge. My ribs ached and my head was pounding. My burn hurt pretty bad, too. But none of that mattered. Because the minute Alessio's feet stopped and I practically ran into his back, all of the voices in the room we had entered went quiet and I could tell all eyes were on me.

"Luca." That was Massimo's voice. I nodded my head, eyes on the floor. "Look at me." He commanded.

Against my will, my eyes slowly rose to meet his. And, accordingly, three other sets as well. I stayed, frozen, staring at Massimo, who looked terrifying at the head of the table.

His suit jacket was gone and the sleeves of his black collared shirt were rolled up, revealing his huge, muscled forearms. His expression was hardened and I felt like I was being analyzed as his harsh gaze raked over my small form.

To his right, a man who looked similar in age to Massimo sat, and he smiled warmly at me. His eyes crinkled, just like how I remember my father's used to. His pearly white teeth glinted under the light of the massive, crystal chandelier hanging overhead.

On Massimo's left side, there was a man. He was even scarier than Massimo. Holy cow. I couldn't even get a look at him before he narrowed his eyes and I looked away. All I noticed were tattoos. Lots of them.

But no matter. The last boy was also scary. He looked very similar to Alessio, just... angrier. Massimo's voice drew me back.

"Come sit down. Dinner is spaghetti bolognese. Is that alright?" He spoke monotonously. My eyes widened marginally. Alright with me? Why would he ask that? I nodded. It wasn't my opinion, anyway. I didn't even know what that was.

"Take a seat between Giovanni and Alonzo." He commanded, and the man to the right smiled gently at me, patting the seat next to him. I dropped my gaze and shuffled over, taking a seat next to him.

"Hi, monkey" Giovanni whispered from next to me. I looked up at him, and he smiled down at me. I waved at him silently, and his smile widened. I heard Alonzo scoff, and I dropped my hand.

Stupid.

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EEk guys I'm still here. Don't worry I know you all were. Let me know if there's anything from the old version I've missed or that you want back please!! Love y'all

Rosie :)