TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARMING TICS, DEPICTIONS OF MENTAL ABUSE

I clenched my fists under the table again. It stung. That didn't matter.

Everyone else took their seats, and then Massimo tapped his knife against his glass.

Clink. Clink. Clink.

The doors opened people came in carrying various plates and platters. They set them down, stepped back, and, at Massimo's nod, cleared the room.

I sat, perfectly still, staring at the plate in front of me. I didn't make any move to eat, even as my brothers dug in. Someone cleared their throat, and I tensed.

"Luca. Why aren't you—" Giovanni's voice was cut off by the doors to the dining room slamming open again. I flinched.

"Tesoro mio!" (my treasure) An elderly woman dashed into the room and ran straight for me, happiness etched across her face. I flinched as she reached out to me, but she didn't notice, too busy wrapping me in her arms and squeezing me against her chest.

I froze. Didn't move. Didn't breathe. I clenched my fists in my lap and felt the blood pool in my palms. "Francesca," I heard a deep voice. "Francesca, lascialo andare." (let him go) Massimo commanded, and suddenly I was let go.

I sucked in a breath, staring down at my lap. My hands were shaking.

No touching no touching no touching no touching. The Voice screamed in my head.

I didn't even realize Massimo and the lady, Francesca, were having a conversation until the lady touched my shoulder and I flinched. Violently.

"Luca? What's wrong?" Giovanni's voice rang in my head. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I shook my head. I could barely hear his voice behind the pounding in my head.

Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong. The words rang in my head.

"Luca." Someone placed their hand on my shoulder. I didn't even notice Francesca's was gone.

I sucked in a breath. That feels nice. I didn't realize I stopped.

I jumped up from my seat, looking around frantically. Giovanni and Alessio looked concerned. Marco and Alonzo... did not. Massimo... just looked like Massimo. Meaning, nothing. Francesca looked crushed.

"I... I'm..." I whispered, gesturing to the door. My voice was low, almost inaudible. All of them moved to stand, and I bolted.

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I let out a breath as soon as I got to my room. My room. That still felt weird. I closed the door quietly, right before my legs collapsed.

I let a whimper slip from my lips as I landed, pain blossoming throughout my body. I leaned back against the door, finally letting the silent tears fall down my cheeks.

I'm so tired. So, so tired.

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"The fuck just happened?" Alonzo stood up from the table, throwing his arms in the air. Massimo raised a hand, "Calmati," he spoke. "Sit down. Francesca, you are excused. He will be fine,"

Francesca hesitated, before leaving the room quickly.

"He flinched away from me, Mass. What does that mean?" Giovanni turned to Massimo, looking destroyed. Massimo sighed, standing up and placing his hands on the table, leaning against the aged wood.

"I'm not sure, Giovanni." he shook his head.

"He...he's a goddam freak! Who the hell flinches at a hug?" Alonzo shouted, looking furious.

"You," Marco scoffed, staring at the table.

"Sit down, Alonzo. Ora." (now) Massimo commanded. His eyes were dark. "You will not speak about your brother like that. This conversation is over."

With that, Massimo strode out of the room.

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"Come on, monkey. Up you go." a low voice rumbled. I stirred, whimpering as muscled arms slipped under my legs and lifted me off the ground.

"It's okay, buddy. You're alright, bambino. It's just me," the voice rumbled again as someone—I think Giovanni—gently placed me on the bed, folding the blankets over me. The lights went dark and I whimpered, face contorting.

I was slipping in and out of consciousness, but I heard Giovanni's footsteps return, "It's okay, monkey. We can do lights," a few lights came back on, lower than before.

"There we go, baby. That's better," the voice rumbled, and gentle fingers ran through my hair. I relaxed, somehow finding Hobbes in my arms as my consciousness began to slip.

"We love you, buddy. Per sempre." (for always/forever) Giovanni murmured as I fell asleep.

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"I need to know everything there is to know about Frank Brandt," Massimo leaned over his desk, staring at a team of his men—only the best hackers in the world, of course. They nodded and left the room, leaving only the brothers.

"Now, fratelli, (brothers) as soon as I have information, you will all be informed. Now, unfortunately, our friend Frank is already dead. This means there is nothing we can do to him. However, I have a feeling he was not the only one who wronged our boy. Keep that in mind."

All four brothers nodded their heads, sick smiles on their faces.

"Buona notte, fratelli,"

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I awoke with a start. I couldn't be back here. Not yet.

I could hear him humming. He liked to sing when he was looking for me. I hated it.

"Where are you, sunshine? I know you're here somewhere..." he trailed off, humming a tune. Tears rolled down my cheeks as my hands shook in my lap.

I stayed as still as I could. I didn't move. Didn't breathe. I stayed curled in the corner of the grimy bathtub, tucked behind the shower curtain.

His footsteps were getting closer. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I covered my mouth with my hands.

The shower curtain flew to the side, "There you are, sunshine,"

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I gasped as tears rolled down my cheeks. Bile rose in my throat and I dashed to the bathroom, ignoring the screaming pain in my ribs and back and the pounding in my head.

I collapsed in front of the toilet, crying as I dry-heaved the nonexistent contents of my empty stomach into the bowl. I leaned against the seat, crying silently as my throat burned and my head pounded behind my eyes.

Eventually, I pulled myself up off the floor. Stumbling to the sink, I ignored my reflection in the mirror as I turned on the sink and ran cold water over my face.

I ran back to get Hobbes, apologizing for scaring him. He didn't like it when I had nightmares. Not that I did either.

With him in the crook of my arm, I hesitated. My throat was burning and my head was hurting, and I really wanted some water. Am I allowed to leave my room in the middle of the night? I doubted it. The thought of disobeying them made bile rise in my throat, but I was so thirsty.

Silently, I cracked open the door to my bedroom. Taking one look right and left down the hallway, I crept out. The lights under my brothers' bedrooms were all out as I tiptoed down the hallway, trying to remember my way to the kitchen.

After getting lost at least four times, I padded into the kitchen, face partially hidden in Hobbes' fur. The lights flicked on immediately and my mouth fell open slightly. Whoa. I paused, looking around the kitchen for a moment before I made my way to the cabinets.

I gently, carefully lifted myself onto the counter (that was not an easy task) and opened the first cupboard, looking for a cup. Suddenly, there was an ice-cold grip on my wrist and I flinched, whipping around.

I froze as the glass slipped from my fingers. As if in slow motion, it bounced off of the countertop and shattered on the floor, right around a pair of stark white tennis shoes.

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

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guys I'm cracked. call me chat gpt with how fast I'm writing these. my mom says I have a lot of confidence. anywayyysss let me know what yall think!! Lots of love

Rosie :)