｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。oxytocin 　ﾟ･｡･

» [oxytocin by billie eilish ] « 0:58 ─〇───── 3:32 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

MILLIE CLARKE had a hell of a year. She had been on a tour, for her second EP, Good Riddance, which had taken up 5 months. Now, she had a new single coming out on the 24th of June. As well, she was writing new music about her ex girlfriend, Miaxmon, that she was nearly ready to take to Long Pond Studios to make her first album.

Her boyfriend, Finn Slatkin, was also her best friend. Everyone knew that they were meant to be. Back in 2015, when they first met, they almost instantly fell in love, and started dating almost immediately. Even though they were only 13 and 14, everyone thought they were well matched. Even in early 2018, when they broke up, all their friends were extremely shocked. They remained good friends, however, and they would go on to write music about their breakup.

For them, they always viewed each other as the right person but at the wrong time. After that initial breakup, which neither of them really knew why that happened, Millie was deeply still in love with him, despite them both moving on. They always waited for them both to be single, and they'd always have secret little hookups until they found someone more serious. However, in April 2022, Millie broke up with her girlfriend that she'd had since April 2020, and they'd finally found another time to be together.

On June 14th, 2022, they decided to go out to a club with Millie's best friend Audrey. Millie, who had been sober her entire life except for occasional drinks for YouTube videos, stuck to her usual routine, while Finn and Audrey didn't hold back.

Back at the apartment a few hours later, Audrey slept in Gracie's room, while Finn and Millie were led in her bed watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine, talking all night about anything that popped into their heads. They'd made a plan, that after Millie's Sidemen shoot the next day, that they'd go out to a cafe and make a song.

Falling asleep, Millie was extremely happy. She had the guy that she'd always loved, who always loved her back, the job she loved, working towards the other job she earned to do, and reat friends. She couldn't see how her life could get any better.

The next day, she woke up at half seven for her shoot that was at midday. She couldn't think of anything to do, and Finn was still sleeping, so it couldn't be him. Audrey had to leave at 8 for work, so she couldn't hang with him, so she decided to just make a few reaction videos, and called her friends James to react to the last nights episode of Love Island, until eventually it reached 10 and she started to get ready for Sidemen : Pointless.

After she had gotten ready, she turned to Finn in her bed. She'd found it odd that he'd slept for all this time, 11 to 11, but she didn't want to disturb him. He deserved a break. Once it reached 11:10, she got tired of waiting for him to wake and started to shake him, before she realized his chest wasn't moving. Checking his pulse, it was completely flat. He wasn't breathing.

Millie started shaking herself. She wasn't quite sure what to do. She had to leave, like right then, to make the shoot, but she couldn't bring herself to. The makeup she had spent 45 minutes on had been stained by mascara tears. She quickly grabbed her phone to ask her brother, Henry, to take over the shoot. She got changed into a different outfit, pajama bottoms and his tshirt, before running to the bathroom being sick. She didn't really know what to do, because she had never woken up do a dead person.

She didn't register he was dead though, that didn't seem to be an option in her brain. She just thought that he'd passed out. After an hour or two of panicking and vomitting and ignoring Josh and Simon's texts asking where she was and why Henry was there instead, she finally registered that he might be dead. Which only made her be sick once more.

She really didn't know what to do. She asked ChatGPT, which helped, kind of, and dialled 999, and told them that her boyfriend passed in his sleep. She did the same for his family and her family, and finally Simon and Josh, who completely understood why she wasn't there.

The ambulance came, and she was a big mess. She was in pajamas m, covered in vomit, she'd been crying, so her makeup was extremely patchy, and her hair was everywhere. The ambulance took them both, and led them to the hospital, connecting Finn to a life support machine, which showed them he had brain activity, but he was basically a vegetable, and almost completely gone.

Hours and hours of crying with his family in his hospital room, his mother had decided to take him off life support, as it wasn't worth keeping it on as he wasn't going to wake up. His family left at 4 the next morning, while Millie stayed until she was forced out the hospital at 7. She went straight home, changed and slumped on the sofa. She didn't know how to go on with her life without him.

Crying while watching David Attenborough, she started to accept that he wasn't coming back. Grief's a bitch, and although she hadn't really suffered any losses, she knew that. She wasn't okay with it, not at all. All she wanted to do was punch and scream at everything, but she knew that wasn't going to do anything, just make her worse. She had enough of her environment. She couldn't stay there, as it reminded her too much of the past day and she wanted to keep that as far away from her as she could. So, she decided to pack up the flat. She wasn't the only person who lived there, but she was the only person currently there.

Lucky for them, as 2/4 of her roommates had been in the limelight from a young age, they'd had advantages money wise. They'd always had a spare flat to move into or to get away when having at least 4-5 people in their environment at one moment in time got too much for them. One thing they'd always agreed on was that flat was strictly for Millie to film in when too much was going on or for someone to just take a break at. It was never meant to be used to live in. But Millie physically could not live in the flat they lived in currently.

So, having no plans for the next week, which was a benefit of being a YouTuber, Millie got to work. She packed up the entire flat without asking any other inhabitants if they could move. She didn't even know if Riley knew Finn had passed, but when she got off tour, she'd have a heck of a surprise!

The next 2 weeks, Millie started to slowly move everything into the other flat, but this time she'd asked Gracie if it was okay, as Gracie was now the only other living roommate in England. With Gracie and Audrey's help, they'd moved all the stuff into the other apartment, which was a space that had never met Finn, and a new space to move and be comfortable. Here, Millie could start fresh, and start the new era of her life without the environment reminding her off the worst day of her life.

@milliemoo has posted on instagram!





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liked by miniminter and 1,634,801 others

MILLIEMOO finn. my favorite boy. i can't believe you're gone. the first picture is the last i have of us. you were so fucking funny and you'll never be forgotten by anyone like ever. you were my everything for so long, and life will never be the same without you. i can't think of anything worse then living without you. i'll never forget you, or our late night talks, or the things we'd done together. you've given me so many memories to cherish. thank you for being the best friend anyone could ever ask for, my family, my safe place. i'll never stop looking for your light. rest easy, my darling. i'll never forget anything you've done for me. when i'm the one selling out Radio City or the Greek, you'll be there. i'll carry your love with me always, until we meet again. (ps you owe me lots of money but i'll let it slide love u bro) 🕊️

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author notes!

really tempted to make the song kill bill icl 😭😭