Akira's pov

A hand popped up and grabbed the edge of the roof.

Fuck.

Somebody's climbing up. I back myself into a dark corner and keep my knife ready to strike. A second hand grabs the edge and they pull a person up. A hunched figure walks slowly, dragging their feet.

They stop out of the blue and look around, hand going into their pocket. I have to act now before they pull out any weapon. I lunge at them and in a sweeping motion, try to pull my blade towards their throat.

They act quickly, deflecting my move and pull out a knife themselves. Some light reflects off them, and I can recognise that form. Leo.

"Akira?" He asks before I can voice my concerns.

"Yes" I answer and he immediately drops his guard.

I gesture him towards a better lit area so I can see his face properly before dropping my guard. He walks non chalantly with his hands in his pocket. It is Leo. I knew that, but my training wouldn't let me drop my guard unless I was completely sure.

I place my knife back into my pocket as he sits on the cool floor.

"What are you doing here?" He asks softly and the breeze carries his words to me.

I shrug, not knowing how to explain. He looks up and pats the place by his side.

"Come on, sit. I don't bite you know." He smiles but his voice sounds too tired to compliment the fake smile.

I slowly lower myself and sit beside him. He looks over at me and a slow smile forms on his lips, probably real.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"You seem better" he says light heartedly.

I don't reply and instead just stare up at the sky. He too, expells a long sigh and sits in the silence. Why would he come up here at such time? Shouldn't he be asleep?

"So, what makes you come up here on a chilly night at 3 in the morning?" He finally asks.

"You tell first" I shrug and prompt him.

"Couldn't sleep" He whispers not looking at me.

I nod and we sit in a companionable silence. My thoughts won't stop bugging me. Did really make a complete fool of myself infront of everyone?

"So you brought me home after I blacked out?" I finally ask.

"Sebastian and I took you to the hospital first and Eiran arrived there too, then we drove you back home" He explains.

What? Hospital? Eiran?

"Hospital?" It slips out of my mouth.

"Yeah, Sebastian was worried sick" he gives a sad laugh "he drove better than Eiran when he's on racetrack, like literally got you to hospital in ten minutes instead to thirty."

Why would they do so much for me? Worried sick?

He notices the puzzled look on my face before I could hide it and asks "what?"

"Nothing" I say shortly while I wanted to ask 'Why would you take me to the hospital or get boss involved in this shit?'

"Hey I know it's not nothing. Does anything hurt?" He asks suddenly concerned, searching my face any hint of anything.

"No, I'm ok" I answer, feeling weirded out by his concern.

"Did you eat? When did you wake up? Was Sebastian there when you woke?" He asks in a single breath.

"Yes" I answer.

Why does he care?! What's wrong with him?

We sit in silence for a good while. The sight of boss's arm is burned into my mind. I can't think anything other than that. Should I tell him about that? No. He must know. I should ask this family's history. Why? The voice in my head asks.

I should first get him started by telling about me and then slowly make it about boss. You just wanna know what happened with you, the voice brings forth the fact that in refuse to acknowledge.

"So, umm what happened? When I went missing?" I ask carefully, hesitation clear in my voice.

He looks at me and his features soften as he takes a deep breath and starts thinking. He clears his throat before speaking up "you were three, when Sebastian took you to one of your classmates's birthday parties."

He gathers himself as his voice starts to tighten and then continues "mom didn't want you to go. She said it wasn't safe. Sebastian said he wanted you to enjoy your childhood and that he would protect you. So yeah, you both went."

He takes a deep breath "At the party, it went well. Until it didn't. Some men, as Sebastian described, wearing black clothing, masks and armed with weapons entered. There was chaos and they tried taking you, Sebastian fought them for a while, he was always an exceptional fighter. But then, one of them struck an iron rod to his head and he blacked out."

"He had already informed us that something had gone wrong, and mom and dad arrived there as soon as possible. But all they found was a beaten up, bloody Sebastian and some beaten up kids. The camera all around the neighbourhood were blacked out. They looked for you for two years before a picture of you, d-dead, was sent. Since then, every year at your Birthday, we visit your grave-grave."

I stared at him as his tries not to breakdown while speaking. I was kidnapped, boss tried to save me. Dad-

"Sebastian was thirteen at the time, he just had three years of fighting experience." Leo cuts off my thought train and starts gravely, "but he blamed himself for it. He would help out at the mafia to look for you and at other times, drown himself in school work. He graduated at 15, and that was the year we-we" his voice breaks and he sniffles "when we got that picture of you, lying dead on the floor. We tried tracking down who sent the picture but their tech and cyber security was impossible to surpass. Sebastian turned to parties and drinking and ciggerates, he refused to visit your grave."

I was that important of a member in that household. They cared. Boss cared?

He clears his throat and lets outs sigh before continuing "An year later, one of the gang's we had raided in trying to find you, killed d-dad. He was a lawyer you know? The best lawyer. Well, before we could emerge from that greif, Sebastian was kidnapped. This time we had on our hackers better trained with newer tech and saved him in a month. When he came ba-ck" his voice cracked as a shudder ran through him, making the hair on his arm raise up.

"he was-was not him. He was scared. Very scared. He looked starved and wouldn't eat. Multiple drugs were found in his system. He started to get better after a few months, but we would have to walk on egg shells around him. He was afraid of every man, would start to get flashbacks at most randomest sounds or words. Dad couldn't go near him without him getting a very bad flashback. He went selectively mute for those months. He tried-tried"

Tears slip out his eyes and my brain stops functioning at his words "tried to kill himself multiple times"

"After that period passed,he became distant. Extremely distant and workoholic. He's been like that ever since. We don't know him and he doesn't know us, but we're used to it."

I open my mouth to say something but no word make it out of me. This family is very broken. A part of me feels it's all my fault. It is your fault. You broke this happy family. The family in the photograph.

"I'm sorry" I whisper, trying to shut the voices in my mind.

He looks at me with tears pooled in his eyes, and smiles. And through a thick voice he says "hey, we have each other now. We won't let anything happen to you."

I feel a pain in my throat. Like something is getting tighter and tighter, till I can't breathe.

"I told you our story, now tell me yours." He prompts with an encouraging smile, his face still streaked.

Why? My story? What have I got to tell?

He told me too, and it was hard for him. It's only fair that I do too.

"I don't remember much. My earliest memories are of the streets, getting beaten up, starving, being cold." His face hardened as I spoke but I decide to go on "then I started fighting for my own food. One day, I followed the man who would sometimes give us food or money in search of a shelter and ended up in an mafia base. I lost that man. They didn't kill me for some reason, as would've been smarter. They trained me and then here I am."

He looked at me with a weird expression on his face before going on softly "What's 'fighting for food'?"

I raise my eyebrows critically. What does he not understand about fighting for food?

I answer flatly "some men would come with food, make us kids fight. The one who won or entertained them the most, won. Winners would get food"

He looked horrified and then a small voice spoke "I'm sorry Akira."

I shrug and reply causally "None of your fault"

Time skip

I let out a groan and turn away.

"Akira"

Go away.

"Akira"

What?

"Aki-"

I jolt awake and see Eiran standing by my bed. He looks worried. My head hurts. Why am I panting?

"Are you okay?" He gently asks.

I nod, trying to understand what the actual fuck is going on. My eyes land on the clock on the wall showing 9 in the morning. Holy shit.

"Does anything hurt?" He asks, concerned.

What is he doing here?

"No" my voice is raspy from sleep.

"Well, good morning then" he says cheerfully, eyes wrinkled with a smile.

"Morning" I say getting out of bed.

"I'll see you downstairs" he says turning to the door.

"Yeah" I affirm and he closes the door.

What's wrong with me? Sleeping so late. My head feels heavy. And achy.

I enter the bathroom and clean up. After nearly 30 minutes, I exit the bathroom with a towel tied around me and enter the walk in wardrobe. They have those robes too but they just feel too luxurious.

I still haven't gotten used to having these many options to choose from for clothes. Honestly, I preferred just having like two t shirts and pants to choose from.

I put on my old plain black t - shirt and ragged green cargos. The leather jacket that Diana got catches my attention and I decide to wear it too. I exit the wardrobe and brush my hair back and out of my eyes. My hair have a really slow rate of growth, so, they're still just as short.

Eiran had asked me to come downstairs. Probably for breakfast. I am hungry. But thinking about food is making me nauseous.

No food.

I put on my black combat boots, hide my gun and knives on me, pick up my helmet and exit the room. The helmet swings in my arm as the dull ache in my stomach comes back. Leo, Kai, Eiran and Diana are all in the kitchen.

Leo and Diana are eating, kai's explaining something very passionately to Eiran who's listening carefully while cutting up some green leaves. They all turn their heads towards me as soon as I set my foot inside.

"Hey Akira, come have some spaghetti" Eiran gestures me over as Diana leaves her food walks over to me.

"Are you ok Akira? did you eat something yesterday? " Diana asks, concern lacing her voice.

"yeah" I try to sound more energetic than I feel.

"Come on have some breakfast, Eiran made it today" She says with a smile.

"I'm not hungry" I try to dismiss and she looks at me and my helmet with narrowed eyes.

Leo, Kai and Eiran are listening in on our conversation. Their expression are also similar to what Diana's was. concern.

"It's almost ten in the morning, you have to eat something" Eiran speaks up while chopping away.

"I don't have any appetite" I say looking him straight in the eyes.

To avoid more talking, I turn my back to them all and walk out towards the main doors.

"where are you going?" Kai asks.

I just open the doors and exit the house without glancing back at them. I walk towards the Bikes and start mine, putting my helmet on. Leo and Kai step out the main doors just as I turn around and drive out. They were saying something that I couldn't hear with my helmet on.

I weave through the traffic at high speeds and take a long route to the base. There, I park my bike walk inside. doesn't matter if it's a day off for the kids, there's still the same bustling inside the base.

None of the men notice me as I silently walk down the hallways and towards the practice rooms. The practice halls are empty, no one practices here on Sundays. I put my helmet down and get started.

I practice. And practice. and practice. and then practice some more. Combat, shooting, knives, everything. After another shooting session, I once again walk towards the bag to practice combat.

That's when the sound of of my grumbling stomach echoes in the empty hall, and the pounding ache in my head seems to get worse. I can't tell which direction I am moving in, or at what speed, as room starts to spin around me.

No. Not again. You've gotten weak. Don't deserve food. Your Performance is not good enough. Weak. Practice. Practice until you die. His words swirl in my head as I finally reach the bag and start punching.

The door creaks open, and someone carrying pizza boxes enters. I stare at them, trying to focus and stop the room spinning. Kai comes closer to me, worry written all over his face.

He's saying something to me, I can't hear. He takes my arm walks me over towards a bench. Water. Either he heard my thoughts or I really spoke out aloud, because he hands me a bottle of water.

I drink. I keep drinking. My stomach feels weird. He looks very concerned about something. I don't remember what happened, but the next thing I know, I am walking out of the base and to a park across the street.

Park is green. My ears are buzzing. He's saying something. My stomach feels very weird. I snatch my arm that I didn't even know he was holding to support me, and throw up. I throw up near a bush.

I am tired. My eyes start to droop.

My head is pulsating. There's cool breeze around me. The sound of the traffic is making my head worse. I was practicing. I open my eyes and find Kai wiping my face with a towel while I lay down. Where?

I look down to see grass underneath me. I have a bad taste in my mouth. I need to get back to practicing. He will kill me.

"...Can you hear me Akira?" Kai is saying something.

I have to get up. Can't get killed today. I try to sit up straight but my sore arms give out. I was about to land face first in the grass when a hand comes in between and softens the fall. The hand is cool. Feels good.

Get up, Akira. I try again and Kai hold me by my shoulders to steady me. He puts my back against something. I notice that it's a tree by the texture. He hands me a drink.

I drink. What? my mind catches up. Who allowed this? I immediately put down the drink.

"..Why do you do this yourself?" Kai's disappointed voice cuts across the buzzing as he picks up and opens the pizza box.

Shit. He's disappointed. I need to go back and continue practice. Everyone will be happy then. I try to get up but he keeps a firm hand on my shoulder, making it harder to move. That's when I become acutely aware of the pain in my stomach.

"...need...eat" He hands me a pizza slice.

I just stare at the food in hand. I want to eat it. So bad. It looks so delicious. I will eat this when I'm allowed. I will enjoy it then. But I'm hungry- forget it Akira. Forget it.

"..come on Akira" Kai's voice almost sounds like pleading.

I look at him. He is holding up the drink for me. He looks worried. He wants me to eat.

"I can't" My voice comes weak as I try to make him understand that I am not allowed to eat.

"what do you mean?" His face contorted with worry.

"not allowed" I whisper due to the lack of energy.

"wha- No. you are allowed. Please eat" He says processing my words "You will worsen your health if you don't."

I look at the pizza slice in my hands and then back at him. Really? I am allowed? Maybe he sent him because he allowed...

I hesitantly bring up the pizza slive to mouth and take a bite. oh my god..this thing's aboslutely delicious. I finish the slice and he hands me another. Really? It is a feast then.

I finally start to get my energy back and the sounds around me become sharper. Kai is looking at me weirdly.

"what?" I finally ask as I finish the last slice.

"nothing" He says in a low voice while shaking his head, before rushing towards me and trapping me in a hug.

My breath catches in my throat as he hugs me tightly. He notices me tense up and immediately backs away, his face tear streaked. Why is he crying?

"what happened?" I ask out of politeness.

"you scared me" He says through a thick voice "why did you do that?"

"do what?" I don't remember killing anyone lately.

who is he so sad about?

"why did you do this yourself?" He asks.

"Do what?" I ask not understanding him.

What's he so upset about?

"Not eating and over training, even on off days?" He asks, his eyes boring into mine, trying find something.

That's a part of the...punishment.

And that's when, with a sudden intensity of running head first into a brick wall. It hit me. He isn't here anymore.

"It's a..." I couldn't bring myself to talk about it. How I was dumb enough to have the need to be punished like this? How I am so weak that I couldn't even handle a little pain?

He notices my uncomfort and quickly tries to lighten the mood.

"Hey, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He hands me the drink lying on the floor "so, liked the pizza?"

I accept the drink and and nod.

"But let me make one thing clear, you cannot purposefully do these things to yourself" He suddenly gets serious "I won't let you spiral into these self harming habits"

I nod wondering why he cares. He won't get anything if I eat or don't eat. It doesn't affect him.

"What I do or don't, doesn't affect you." My voice was flat, stating a fact.

He looked offended "You affect everyone Akira. My sister is my first priority in life, now that I have a chance to. So, I don't care how you treat yourself, you better treat my sister right."

I stare at him, the wheels in my brain turning. This feels weird. Being somebody's priority. It feels like he is talking about someone else who I am just role playing as, for another mission.

Nobody cares about a killer. Nobody ever cared if I lived or died. So why now?

"Why?" A whisper escapes my mouth before I could act otherwise.

He looks at me and his lips turn into a small smile while his eyes stay fixated on mine "because you are my sister. Your are all of our sister. That's it. We love you and you might not understand it just yet, but I hope you will some time in the future."

They care about me because I am family to them. That's it? All of this feels completely opposing to all the values instilled in me since even before the start of my training. Nobody cares about you. Nobody.

You are a killer and nobody else.

A.N---

Hey guys:)

A long chapter for you, even though there was nearly no support in the last one lol.

So yeah, the target hasn't been achieved still, but you know what? I am way too invested in this story to care lol.

Anyways, I hope you like it.

I am open to any improvements that any of you would like to suggest or any constructive criticism.

I had next to no motivation for this chapter due to lack of response.

Please click the star button below or comment on your favourite moments to show your support to the story.