Elias

Today is the day.

My brothers have been telling me all about my family but I can't focus on them, I know I'm dissociating more, zoning out and staring at nothing. My hallucinations are getting worse. It's the nightmare hallucinations, the ones that I know aren't real but they feel real. I wake up and I can see the spiders crawling all over me, I can feel their legs walking everywhere, but hen I go to swipe them off I can't. Because they're not real.

I haven't told my brothers about them, if I do their eyes will be on me and I can't risk that. I've just been taking more medicine. It's making me dizzy, nauseous, and drowsy but it helps starve off the worst of the hallucinations. My mood is at an all time low, I'm annoyed with everyone and everything. I know I need to tell someone about the hallucinations but I have to wait. I need to get through tonight and I can tell them tomorrow.

I look in the mirror and I can barely recognize myself. My face is fuller, my muscles aren't as profound but they're still there. I'm more bulky now, not like I was big ever but I'm not super lean anymore. You can't even see my ribs anymore. My stomach is almost completely flat, there's no hollowing of it. My brothers meal plan has to be working and suddenly I'm not mad about them forcing me to eat at least 3 meals a day with protein shakes and snacks in between. I'm not hungry ever anymore. It's a good problem to have, there's no pain in my stomach, I feel more energized, I feel taller. God do I want to get taller.

All of my brothers are above 6'0. I want to be above 6'0. I want to be tall.

I spent all last night picking out my new outfit. My room is a mess but I like my outfit. I want to make a good impression on my family. I don't know them but I want them to like me.

I'm wearing a black compression shirt, with the dark green cargo pants my brothers bought me, they're almost black. I've got a cream sweater over it with a silver chain Alexander was very adamant about me having. I'm wearing some dark green and black shoes with a big check on the side. I'm pretty sure Alexander said they were Nikes? I'm not sure.

I play with the collar of my sweater, maybe this outfit wasn't a good idea.

I look to the corner of my room where I have a black hoodie and black sweatpants thrown over the couch. I'll wear my beat up old tennis shoes that I use to wear 24/7

I look over to my pile of clothes all over the floor. Maybe I should change the sweater....

I hear my door open as I'm looking through the pile of clothes to look for a different sweater.

"What's wrong Hermanito?" I hear Alvaro ask.

"I need a different colored sweater." I mumble before finding a knitted grey sweatshirt and changing.

I walk back over to my mirror on the wall and analyze my outfit.

Maybe I should change the pants...

"Elias you look amazing. Your outfit is perfect I promise you." I hear Alvaro reassure me.

I look over to my pile of clothes, maybe I should wear jeans instead...

Alvaro grabs my face and turns my head towards him.

"Your outfit looks amazing Hermanito. I promise our familia will love the care you've put towards looking good for them. They will be here any minute so why don't you come downstairs?" Alvaro asks, his eyes are softened as he looks at me.

I just nod, the longer I'm in my room the more I'm going to find something wrong with my outfit.

He nods before grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my room and towards the stairs. As we walk towards the living room I can hear voices, loud voices, a lot of voices. More than just my brothers. I freeze and squeeze Alvaro's hand, my stomach twisting painfully.

"They must have gotten here while we were talking. It's going to be okay, they're excited to meet you." Alvaro says as he pulls me towards the living room.

I freeze in the doorway and look around, I see 8 unfamiliar faces and no Fransisco. That makes me breathe a little easier.

It takes a second before all the attention is suddenly on me and I shuffle behind Alvaro, wanting to get away from their intense stares.

"¡Oh, dios mio! ¿Ese es Elias? Oh, dejame verba mi sobrino menor."(Oh my God, is that Elias? Oh let me see my youngest nephew."

"Ah Tia Elias esta muy nervioso, Tienes que darle espacio, dear que venga a ti. Lo miso va para todos ustedes, primos." (Oh Aunt, Elias is very nervous, you need to give him space, let him come to you. Same goes for all of the cousins.) Alvaro says.

I've never heard them speak Spanish so fluently, it flows off his tongue so naturally. I wish I could speak Spanish...

I hear some murmuring in Spanish before the conversation starts up again, Leo asking someone about their latest designs? I peak my head out around Alvaro and look around the room. I remember the photos Leo and Santiago showed me, telling me who they were and how old they were.

First there's my Uncle Emilio and my Aunt Lucia. They stick out immediately, seeing my Uncles slightly grey hair his Rameriez blue eyes. He has tan skin and no visible tattoos. Looking over towards my Aunt Lucia I see her long and silky black hair in soft curls that frame her face, she has on a legant black dress with black heels with red on the back. She sticks out the most because of her natural beauty.

Then I look over towards the couch where Leo is sitting, I see him talking to who I'm guessing is Valentina, she's a fashion designer and is the oldest triplet. She takes after my Aunt, they look like sisters. Valentina is wearing a flowy dark blue dress that frames her perfectly. She's got matching blue heels and is wearing her hair half in a bun, and half down. I remember Leo telling me the triplets are 25

Sitting next to Valentina is someone who looks like Alencio. Leo said he's the oldest of our generation, being 30. He reminds me of Alvaro, they have the same tan skin, blue eyes, dark hair, and big muscles. Alvaro looks slightly taller than Alencio but they're probably the same height. I see tattoos crawling out of the neck of his suit and over his hands.

I look towards Santiago and see Augusto Selva and Ernesto. Augusto and Selva are the other two triplets. Santiago is wearing a leather jacket, white graphic tshirt with jeans and the shoes with the check. He favors his dad for sure, the similar face screams Emilio. Selva looks like the female version of Augusto. She's wearing baggy black pants with a colorful crop top. She's got her hair pulled back in a slick back bun and sunglasses on top of her head. Ernesto is wearing a black sweatshirt with jeans and black Air Force Ones he's 20, my youngest cousin.

I look over towards the twins and see them talking to Manuel, he's 28 and he's wearing dark green cargo pants with a plain black tshirt. He's got black shoes on and his hair is longer than Alencios. He looks like me...

I look up at Alvaro and he nods his head towards the room. I'm drawn to Manuel, we look so similar, how is he not my brother?

I stand next to the chair Alexander is sitting in when Marco looks up at me. He smiles and introduces himself but I'm not paying attention, all I can focus on his how he looks exactly like me.

I feel Alexander nudge me and before I can stop it I say "You look like me."

I immediately turn red and my eyes go wide. No way I just said that....

Manuel laughs. Not a mean laugh, a laugh like I just made a joke.

"Well I guess you could say you look like me. I mean I am older than you." He says while moving over, making room for me on the chair.

I sit there dissociating. I feel the paranoia crawl up my spine. I try not to show how my clammy I get, rubbing my hands on my pants and looking around.

I feel a hand on mine and look up to see Manuel holding onto my hand.

"There's no need to be nervous, we're familia. We're all here for you no matter what." He says as he smiles at me. He turns back to Alexander before they continue their conversation. The paranoia slowly goes away as I look around again. I catch the eyes of my Aunt before she smiles sweetly at me and beckons me over. I tell Manuel and Alexander that I'll be back before walking over to her, my Uncle and Alvaro. I sit on the couch next to my Aunt before she pulls me in for a gentle hug.

"Hi Elias, I'm your Tia Lucia, but you can just call me Tia. I am so happy you're back home with us." She says with a small smile.

My face gets hot before I nod and murmur a small smile. My Uncle introduces himself before falling into a conversation about my interests.

"So Elias, what do you like doing?" My uncle asks.

"I like watching tv. I never had a chance to really watch it so now I'm catching up on all the movies and shows I've missed out on." I tell him, remembering my brothers words.

"Well what's your favorite so far?" He asks me.

This sparks a conversation about Avatar the Last Airbender. I'm halfway through season 2 but he's also watched it.

"That used to be the only thing Manuel would watch, he loves that show, he still does. So obviously I've watched it a million times and it's incredibly detailed for a kids show."

We start talking about our favorite characters and before I know it the entire family is joining our conversation.

I look around and a warm feeling starts in my chest. I look up to my Tia Lucia and lean into her side. I've never had a mother figure. At least not one I can remember. I wouldn't count my mamma as a mother figure, she was my mom though.

I feel Tia Lucias arm come across my shoulders before squeezing.

As everyone talks to everyone I figure out a little bit about all of my cousins. Selva and Augusto like to party and are really loud and they make sure they're heard. Alencio is basically the same person as Alvaro except colder. Valentina is stern but nice, again similar to Alvaro. She offered to bring me to her work one day so she could design me some clothes. She said she liked my look and I could be a model for her. I really like Manuel, we have the same interests and sense of style. I really like Tia Lucia. She's so nice, and funny, and making conversation with her is so easy I get lost in it as I tell her about my actual interests. I never have been on to share about myself but she makes it so easy, she doesn't judge me at all. All she does is reassure me and tell me I could pursue whatever I wanted with no judgment. And if I did pursue anything and someone wanted to judge me that I could come talk to her and she'll deal with them. Tio Emilio is also nice but we don't really click. But thats probably me. I'm not a big fan of big tall men.

I catch Alvaro's eyes and he smiles at me before looking at me leaning on my Tia. He smiles at me before looking to Tia and giving her a look. She just smiles and squeezes me again.

I like when she squeezes me, it makes my chest feel warm.

Maybe having a family isn't that bad...

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Did ya'll think this chapter would have Fransisco in it? Cause nope. It doesn't but I can promise the next one will. I wanted to have a nice chapter before..... everything happens..... and everything that y'all don't know about will happen...

Hehehehe

Anyways what did we think? Thoughts? Opinions?

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