Antonio

Another week has passed since that night. Mirabella's behavior changed alot… The previously bubbly Mira is all-cornered and rarely comes out of her room. We all tried to talk to her but every time she shut us off.

"Dante called.. He and dad are coming over… Johan is dead and the heir of the American Mafia finally held the reign. And they eliminated a lot of lower ones, so the others won't try to mess with us anymore. "

Johan is the very bastard who dared to attack us in New York…

"So we can move to New York? "

Ezaikel asked and Xander nodded. But what worries me is what will we explain when they see Mirabella's condition? She doesn't even let anyone near her.

"It's past lunchtime… I'll call Mirabella and if she doesn't come then I'll drag her here, I swear! "

Ezaikel said and got up… Well, if that makes her eat and talk to us. She should come out of her room now. Ezaikel walked towards her room while we waited at the dining table…

"Antonio? Mirabella has dissociative amnesia, right? What if the news of Peter lying actually triggered some memories that she forgot? "

I stilled as Vincent said that… I looked at Xander, who had the same expression. Possibility is never zero… We never know what will trigger her memories to surface. It's like walking is a minefield. You never know when a bomb is under your feet until it's too late.

Just when I was about to say something, I saw Mirabella running down… I thought she would come towards us, but she straight up walked out of the door.

"What the fuck? "

Vincent murmured but then suddenly got mad.

"I'll kill this motherfucker! "

He said and dashed up to what I assume is Ezaikel. I rushed behind him while telling Xander to follow Mirabella. Mirabella.

The last week has been worse than nightmares. I lost track of what reality is and what dreams are… They are becoming so real that I have to constantly remind that this can't be true.

My brothers are trying to cheer me up, but I can't just shake the thoughts. All the dreams are eating me alive… And they are so realistic that I'm torn between believing it or not.

I even dreamed of Damon touching me inappropriately. But that never happened! I don't know why Puto is constantly telling me he is not my brother. Like why? I know he is not my biological brother, but I found out 3 weeks ago. So why would I have seen him telling me this before?

I can't remember how I ended up in Xander's room. Did I sleepwalk? Or did he pick me up from my room? I groaned as another headache was forming… I didn't even have my breakfast or lunch… I cooked, but the thought of eating was making me feel nauseous.

I heard a knock on my door and I groaned. I told them to not bother me. Who could it be?

I dragged myself to the door and opened it to see the less expected person. Ezaikel?

"You didn't have lunch… Let's go.. Eat something… "

He said with literally no emotion in his voice. I shook my head…

"I am not hungry.. I'll eat once I'm hungry. "

I said but he didn't budge.

"Stop talking crap! You skipped dinner last night, skipped breakfast and lunch, and you're saying that you're not hungry? What kind of bullshit are you talking about? "

He said being irritated, but it irritated me more as the headache just intensified.

"Yes, I'm talking bullshit! It's my life, my body! I'll eat if I like! I don't need someone to force me!! "

I said with the same tone which he used, but that seemed to anger him.

"Then don't be a weakling!! At the end of the day, it's us who will have to look after a sick you! You barely made it alive !! Can't you be logical and mature for once? "

I looked at it being done.. What type of human is he? For a moment, he shows that he cares and loves you and the next moment he torments you.

"What is your damn problem? I said I'll eat when I feel like.. I won't die ok? You're making it look like everything going to end if I skip a meal. "

I reasoned, trying to calm because I was not in a mood to argue..

"Me? Am I making it look like? Well, it should be you who loves to make things difficult! Oh yeah! How will you know when you forget things sometimes? "

He said and I looked at him confused. I forget things sporadically?

"What do you mean by that? "

I asked and he scoffed. I remember him saying this when we were in Italy...

"I mean your dissociative amnesia! You forget things that bring trauma to your brain… Like when we were attacked in New York the very night you came… You remember nothing about it… And I believe not even the fact that Peter was never diagnosed with Leukemia. "

My eyes widened at his words…

"What...? "

He, who was blabbering, stopped once he realized he had said something he shouldn't… I have dissociative amnesia? I never knew.. And if he knows, then so do others. And what do you mean by Puto isn't sick?!

"What do you mean!!! "

I screamed but he kept quiet at first…

"A week ago you overheard Xander talking to Dante about it, and you fainted. "

He said truthfully and I gasped. I can't remember any of that.

"Mira.. "

His voice was soft, but I stopped him from coming closer. I need something to let it go… I am feeling too much and need something to block it out… The sound of waves crashing on shore hit my ear and, without a second thought, I pushed past him and ran downstairs. My soul's focus was on the beach ahead and doing the same thing I did in the pool. I passed the kitchen and living room and dashed out of the villa…

Xander

I walked behind Mirabella, who was dashing closer to the shore… The waves are powerful today, but why is she walking in that direction?

I walked at a safe distance to not overwhelm her, but she reached way closer, and I understood her intention immediately. She will go in the water... I ran and called her out to stop, but she didn't…

She had already stepped in the water, and before she could go deeper, I held her back and dragged her to the shoreline.

She screamed and thrashed around to get out of my grip, but I held her tight.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! "

I screamed, but it felt like nothing got into her ears. She cried and tried to drag herself into the sea. No matter how much I tried to stop her, she was still thrashing around…

I am sorry..

I turned her around and slapped her right across her face and she froze on her spot with her head turned to the right.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?! TIDE IS SO STRONG THAT IT'll PULL YOU AT THE MOMENT YOU ENTER!!! "

I screamed, but she replied nothing, but I heard loud sobs. Her shoulder shook, and I took a deep breath..

I held her shoulder before removing the hair from her face. Guilt built up the moment I saw a red mark on her face. She looked down, and I cupped her face while wiping the tears that fell...

"What happened baby? Do you know how dangerous it is? You could have been pulled into the sea if I hadn't held you. "

She cried, still not looking at me. I pulled her in my arms and hugged her tightly.. She cried in my chest and I felt moisture in my eyes as well.

"Why were you running towards the water baby? "

I asked once her cries stopped..

"I-It He-Helps.. "

She said in between her hiccups.. I frowned..

"It helps when I put my head underwater, and it suffocates me. My brain stops thinking about other stuff. "

She explained, And I could feel goosebumps all over me in horror..

"So you basically drown yourself to remove your thoughts? "

She nodded, avoiding my eyes.. My hold on her shoulder tightened as my blood ran cold from realization..

"All this time, you were self-harming yourself? "

Even I had a hard time saying the words.. This time she looked up at me. Confusion in her eyes, as if she didn't know it was self-harming.. If that's what she was going to do, then that is what she was doing in the pool that night. The words didn't want to roll out of my mouth..

"That day in the pool, you were drowning yourself? "