(POV In-ho/Young-il)

Gi-hun looked up, surprised to see me.

"Young-il? What are you doing here? It's too early to switch, I'll continue watching."

I sighed. "Mind if I join you? I... I can't sleep really." I suddenly felt stupid and... shy? I didn't feel shy in a very long time now.

"I don't mind if you're sure?", Gi-hun answered and I was relieved that he sounded nervous as well. I breathed out and sat next to him, supporting my head with the palms of my hands. "I am sure" I said and gave him a careful smile. "Like this we get a chance to talk." Gi-hun let out a confused laugh. "Why? Do you have something to tell me?"

'Damnit', I thought by myself. Little did Gi-hun know that he just hit the bullseye.

I tried to make my voice sound calm and casual when I replied.

"Not really but I'm curious. Curious how someone who won all this money could voluntarily choose to come back to a place like this. It makes me want to understand your intentions."

Gi-hun sighed. "I thought I was invincible. I thought it could actually be easy. But look at it: roundabout 200 people dead and here was I, just wanting to save them all." He shook his head. "Stupid me to think it was easy to convince people that human lives are actually worth something."

"So that's it? You came back, putting at risk your own life and sanity just to save others?", I asked.

"Turns out either they're just stupid and still don't understand what this game is about or they just don't want to be saved." Gi-hun looked at me. "And then there are those who are here for love. Like me trying to pay off my mothers medical bills when I first was here. Like you trying to save your sick wife and unborn child."

I froze. Love. I stopped thinking about love a long time ago and yet it hit me like a truck when Gi-hun said it. I tried to get rid of the thought that love could actually matter in a world like this where people think about nothing but themselves.

"Love", I snorted derogatorily. "There's no such thing left as long as people treat each other like they do these days. And still there are people like you, determined to save the world. Seriously, how do you do it? How can you be so sure?"

"Because I believe in it. I believe in friendship, companionship. In family. In people. And those bastards here who are behind the games, I want to prove them all wrong. I want to make them see the world through my eyes, that there's more than hatred and greed."

Gi-hun played with his finger joints until they cracked a little and then put his hand down where it was resting on the mattress between the two of us. I watched first him then his hand, deeply moved by what he had just been saying and without thinking I placed my hand on top of his. The touch sent shivers through my whole arm and I saw him wincing as well.

"Young-il...what...?" He gave me a confused look. "What about your wife? You...?" He slowly removed his hand from mine and backed away a little.

Damnit. "I should like to be honest to you, Gi-hun. There's something I wish to clarify.", I said more confidently than I actually was. Again I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I wanted to open up to him so much, that I didn't feel like the Frontman anymore, even though the demons in my head kept screaming at me to fcking shut it and focus on the mission I had being the villain. I ignored the fight raging in my thoughts and took a deep breath, while Gi-hun's face was still looking like a whole questionmark.

"The story I told you about my pregnant wife needing a new liver... well it's all true – except that it was years ago. They both died in 2015." I forced myself to look into Gi-hun's eyes, seeing nothing but confusion. "She didn't get a liver yet she kept the child...they almost made it just to die during childbirth. And none of the doctors helped her.", I told him with a bitter tone in my voice.

"So...so they're both already dead? 9 years ago? Then why did you lie to us pretending you were here to earn money for medical treatment?", Gi-hun stuttered. I looked away to hide the tears coming into my eyes. 'You better come up with a hell of a good explanation, you idiot', I thought to myself and took another deep breath.

"Sometimes I just refuse to deal with it. I never experienced such a loss before, it took everything from me. And seeing you believing my story that I'd still be trying to save her made be believe it as well, at least for a moment. Sometimes we all need an escape from reality, don't we?" I gave him a weak smile. "The truth is that by trying to save her I spent far more money than we had, so by now I'm still drowning in debt. But there's only me, no one else out there I could possibly save." My gaze darkened. "That's why I think about humankind the way I do. No one helped my wife or my child back then, no one was willing to be kind. Even if they could, no one's willing to make sacrifices for others these days."

Gi-hun nodded slowly and I could tell that the sad story of my life upset him. "You have your reasons.", he said quietly. "So...that's what you see when you look at the people?"

He looked me straight in the face and even though his eyes were black as night in the dimmed light I could tell that his gaze was warm yet sad. This man was something different; a kind of character I never saw before. His kindness consumed me, attracted me and made me feel safe, like there was still hope for me.

"Yes, that's what I see. At least it's what I saw... I met cruel people in my life and it made my vision the way it was. Earth can be a harrowing place and I saw it exactly like this until now. Now...that I see you."

Silence fell between us, all I heard was our fast shaking breathing, our eyes still locked. It was too late for me to focus on my job, my goal here; all I could think about was how close he was to me. Distracted by covering my evil self I had been running into him in my head and now I couldn't let go. I swallowed and looked at his lips for a moment before turning back to his eyes. Did he move closer? Did I move closer? Still caught in each other's gaze automatically our heads leaned in until we were only centimeters apart. Far away in my head I heard the voice screaming 'WHAT THE HELL IN-HO, WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE!?" but it was easy not to listen.

I took a last glimpse at his face, searching for his consent, feeling his breath on my face, my heart racing like crazy, then I shut my eyes and closed the space between us.

It was a careful kiss, soft and tender and yet I felt sparks all over my body. I felt his hand slowly touching my back as he leaned in deeper and I couldn't help but smile into the kiss.

"What?", Gi-hun murmured, also smiling a little.

"I just feel like..." Unintentionally my smile widened a little, "For the first time in forever I feel like one day everything could actually be alright."



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Author's note: Guyssss the first kiss, finally *-* Hope you enjoyed, stay tuned, more chapters coming up <3