I woke up before the rest of the other players. I didn't know what time it was or how long I had been asleep, but I figured that the classical music would start playing soon. My body had a practical, yet annoying tendency to wake up just minutes before my alarm—or in this case, before the music played.

I sat up in my bed as far as I could without hitting my head on the bunk above mine. The dark and quiet room was calming in a strange way. It was nice being in here without arguing or having to maintain my alias. I was getting tired of having to be around selfish and greedy people all day. This moment, sitting here alone, was like getting a breath of fresh air after being stuck inside for days.

But, most importantly, this was a break from In-ho. Honestly, I didn't mind being around him, but recently it has just been confusing. Did he care about me or not? Everything he said seemed to contradict and I was getting tired of having to dissect his words.

I gazed over at him, and —no surprise— he was fast asleep. Because he was facing towards me, I could clearly see his peaceful looking face. His face had no wrinkles or tension, and had no trace of the hardened expression he usually wore. While he was sleeping, shut out from the waking world, his carefully constructed mask was taken off and the real him was visible. He looked almost normal like this, as if he was actually my husband and we were sleeping together, side by side.

His presence was starting to affect me, mentally and emotionally. I found myself constantly thinking about him, even if he wasn't near me. It was as if he had control of my thoughts, always demanding them to be focused on him.

Soft snores and the movement of sheets filled my ears. For once, I was actually fully awake and energetic which was a stark contrast to how I usually was—sluggish and exhausted.

I slipped out from my blanket and started making my way towards the door. I figured I could use this time to go to the bathroom. I hadn't freshened up in days and my hair was starting to feel the brunt of it. Though showers were unavailable, I could at least use the sink to freshen up.

I tip-toed to the door, trying to avoid waking the others. Rest was a luxury— this could be their last chance to sleep. Who knew how the day would go? Dongdeamun was a killer, and they didn't even know it yet.

As I reached the door, the guard opened it without hesitation. I slid through the crack and they closed the door behind me. I didn't wait for them to lead me to the bathroom, I knew these halls like the back of my hand and didn't want to waste time. The guard followed closely behind me—almost too closely— but their presence wasn't alarming, it felt rather familiar.

"Who are you?" I asked, curiosity evident in my voice. I had a feeling I knew this particular guard, but it was near impossible to tell with their masks on. The only guard I could tell for certain was guard 22, the one who had been eyeing my promotion. He had a little crack in the white circle which stood out against the black background, making him easily identifiable if you knew where to look.

Pulling me from my thoughts, the guard replied in a voice as smooth as velvet, though a little rough from lack of usage "52, ma'am."

"Were you the one from last night?"

She nodded. Through her black mask I could imagine her holding back a snicker—if her shallow breaths were any point of reference. I knew she was just bursting at the seams, trying to figure out what happened in there to make our moods take a complete 180. I figured her mind went towards the obvious: sex. I had to make sure she didn't get the wrong idea, or worse, tell the other guards something that was completely false. A rumor like that would absolutely kill my reputation.

"Ask."

I granted her a rare pleasure in this kind of life— speaking freely. As a guard, especially as a circle masked one, you were hardly allowed to speak. And freely? That was something practically unheard of.

She seemed to realize this too as she hesitated, but not for long. She grasped this opportunity like it was the last thing she would ever do.

It was like the dam had burst, the words just escaped her like a flood. She was talking so fast that I couldn't understand most of what she was saying, though I caught the words 'Frontman,' 'sex,' and 'sorry'.

Finally, just as we reached the bathroom, she finished her ramble. Her eyes resembled a puppy's as she waited for me to respond, her excitement palpable. I decided that it would be better to talk in the privacy of the bathroom, so I invited her in. Initially, she was surprised. She cast nervous glances down the hallway, as if the frontman himself would come and shoot her for doing something wrong. I was able to convince her that everything was fine, everyone was asleep—the frontman included.

I held the door open for her and she entered and I locked it behind us. I didn't want anyone overhearing— or worse— a player coming in and seeing us talking. A player talking to a guard so casually? I would never hear or possibly see the end of that, I probably would be shot before I knew what happened.

I turned the sink on and got to work. I tried washing my body, but it was rather difficult just using toilet paper and cheap soap. But still, anything was better than nothing, and I wanted to get rid of the blood and dirt all over me. I was starting to itch and feel disgusting.

I looked over at the guard. She was standing rather awkwardly in the corner, as if she wasn't sure she should be watching me or in there at all.

"Take off your mask."

And she did, revealing a young girl with sleek, dark hair. She was beautiful, the dark bags under her eyes only added to her beauty. She was far too young and pretty to be stuck here. It made me wonder, what was her story? She was probably a little younger than me, and perhaps, out in the real world, we would have been friends.

She caught me staring at her and a faint blush spread on her cheeks. I wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, but who wouldn't be if their supervisor was inspecting them?

I decided to talk, to hopefully ease her nerves. I could tell she was uneasy without her mask on, and I wanted her to go back to her rambling, carefree self.

"Ok, so the frontman definitely did not fuck me." I said with a laugh, and she smiled softly.

I went on to explain our situation, though it was difficult having to tiptoe around In-hos private life. I respected his privacy, so I didn't tell her about his name nor that he has a late wife and child. I emphasized the fact that we were in a fake marriage, which elicited a mix of a laugh and a gasp from her.

I ran a wet hand through my hair. I wished I had a comb or a brush or anything, but my fingers would have to suffice for now.

I told her about the past few days, how we had to act like a couple. How it felt so natural and so right, yet we were both just acting. I told her about understanding him as a person and that he wasn't so coldblooded and murderous as he seems. He did have some humanity in him, though it was hidden under his mask—literally.

She listened and nodded intently as I explained. Gossip was luxe in here, after all, especially for a circle guard.

She listened as I told her about our argument, how I was starting to see him differently, but it all came crashing down when he killed someone, someone that didn't deserve to die because of us. How I started yelling at him, in front of everyone, which I thought would get me killed.

But, it didn't. I survived.

This brings us to last night, I explained. We were both so angry at each other for vastly different reasons. Neither of us understood each other but both of us wanted to prove our points. I wanted to prove that he didn't need to be so cruel or emotionless. But him? He wanted to make me understand that he was only doing this because he had to. He wanted to give everyone a fair chance at a new life, and this game is the best way to do that.

After some talking, I told her, I was able to understand him. He really thinks that he is doing the right thing by giving people a fresh start. He doesn't regret killing those people because he believes that they wanted it. In a distorted way, they did. They signed up for these games and stayed even after knowing the consequences.

She just stared at me, taking in my words that obviously weighed on her. No doubt, this was the first time she was thinking about the frontman's motivations or the reason for the game. I knew how depressing it could be, so I decided to shift the topic from this heavy stuff to something more lighthearted.

"But, guess what he said to me?" I asked her, a smile spreading on my face. My voice came out a bit more enthusiastically than I wanted it to.

"What? She asked, matching my excitement.

"He said—and I quote—'do you think so little of me that I would hurt you?"'

Her jaw dropped, "What?! You're telling me that the frontman said that to you?"

I nodded eagerly, my heart still fluttering at the memory. "But he's just so confusing! One moment he says something like that, and then the next he's saying that I am no one special." I leaned against the counter with a huff. In-ho was truly an enigma.

"Ok, wait." She turned deadly serious, "what, exactly , did he say?"

"I don't remember the exact words but he said something like, 'I only kill if I need to prove a point."

"Ok, so he completely shifted the conversation to avoid talking about you specifically?"

I thought back to last night. Most of the conversation was about what he thought about the game and his late wife.

"Yeah..." My voice came out quieter, though not intentionally. Surely we talked about something else? I racked my brain trying to remember the conversation.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, my eyes lighting up when the memory resurfaced. How could I forget?

Her gaze shot up to mine as she waited for me to explain, her sparkling eyes met mine with an intense enthusiasm.

"I almost forgot— he blushed . He literally blushed!."

"You're joking! How? Why?" She relentlessly questioned me and I decided to tell her about mingle when we were stuck in the room together. I recalled how my hand slightly brushed on his hip and I couldn't deny the redness of my cheeks. Thankfully, she decided to ignore it—though I knew I was bright red.

"So you're telling me the frontman—who terrifies everyone—blushed just because of the memory of being so close to you?"

She gawked, unable to comprehend what I was saying. Or—perhaps— I was the one who didn't understand the depth of it.

"You know what this means right?"

I shook my head and she continued.

"That—despite his cold and heartless demeanor— you make him nervous."

Me? Making him nervous? I wanted to laugh in her face. But, a small part of me wanted to believe what she was saying.

Could it really be true? Could In-ho, the man in charge of running these deadly games, have been flustered because of me? The idea was almost laughable, yet my mind kept replaying the moment. Was it really that out of the question? I felt almost giddy at the revelation.

As we talked, the weight of everything melted away until we were just two girls gossiping in a bathroom.

It wasn't often, but I mourned not having a normal life, the life I was supposed to have. This was one of those times. I wanted to be whispering about my crush in a school cafeteria, not in a dimly lit bathroom. Not here, surrounded by death and deceit. Life had never been fair, I knew that, but it stung nevertheless.

Now, there seemed to be nothing crueler than the buzzing that came from her mask.

We both knew what it was— a reminder that the lights would be turned on soon— but neither of us wanted to move. I, as much as she, wanted to savor this rare moment of normalcy.

Yet, life must go on.

I turned my attention back to fixing my hair, grateful that the water had made it somewhat manageable. Putting it back into a braid would have been impossible, so I settled on a ponytail. I finished cleaning my body and washed my hands, drying them on my jumpsuit.

The guard zipped up her pink uniform and put on her mask, concealing her identity from everyone, including me. Once we left this bathroom, the bond between us would only be a fleeting memory, one that I would cherish more than she would ever know.

Before we left, she left me with one final word of advice. "Don't overthink it. He clearly feels...something for you, maybe he just needs a push in the right direction." Her voice carried a serious tone, lacking the playful teasing from just moments earlier. Yet, there was a warmth in it that made my chest tighten. I could tell she truly wants this to work out between us.

As I stepped out after her into the colorful hall, her words replayed in my mind. Don't overthink it.

I followed her back to the main hall, feeling more refreshed and energetic than ever. Whether it was being clean or having a new perspective, I wasn't sure, but I felt ready to take on anything—even the dreadful game known as Dongdaemun.