Athena's Pov

I looked at him in disbelief and he searched my eyes for a stronger reaction. He gulped seeing the looks on my face while his cleared portrayed guilt.

“Tristan,” I whispered, almost horrified.

He couldn't keep eye contact with me anymore and rested his on my arm right next to my chest. It feels like he's lost a war to himself and he’s so ashamed of it.

“I tried,” He whispered. “I can't help it, Thena. You can't wear little to nothing and invite me to cuddle with you. I'm a hormonal teenager, I… I have my limits.”

I was suddenly more aware of our position. I was laying under him. I don't know if it's the cold air of the room or his body heat that made my nipples harden.

My throat dried up from the close proximity and I resisted breathing hard so I wouldn't be moving. My arms were still around him because I didn't know how to remove them without making it worse.

His stomach was pressed between my legs and hands were now fisting the bedsheet on either side of me. He made no effort to get up from me, neither did I push him away.

“I'm sorry.” I mumbled embarrassed.

He immediately lifted his face to look at me with a frown. “Why are you apologizing? It's my fault.”

“No, I shouldn't have forced you. You didn't want this and it's totally normal that you got turned on, there was so much friction and I was pulling you over me… It's my fault. I always put you in uncomfortable positions, I didn't know you avoid our… parts touching because you… I thought you were just being respectful and you don't like it. I should respect your personal space. I'm really really sorry.”

“Listen, you’re wrong. It's on me. You were doing all of this innocently. You didn't know I'd be… let's just forget this.” He got up and I let him.

He helped me sit up and when he got off the bed I could clearly see his hard on through the sweatpants he was wearing. From the imprint, I can guess he's big.

He always denied telling me his size so naturally, I assumed he must be small but I may be wrong.

Now I want to see- no I don't. I was just curious because we're best friends and share everything. I don't want to see his dick in a sexual way. It's all platonic.

His hands came in front to hide himself but it did no good so he grabbed a pillow from my bed and casually put it in front of him, trying to act normal. But both of us knew the situation was anything but normal.

When I realized the view I was still giving him, I decided to do something about it. But I didn't know what to do anymore. I've sat in underwear in front of him so many times but it felt weird now.

I don't mind if any guy wants to check my out or even shows interest in more than that. But with Tristan I fear a sexual angle might mess up our relationship.

I didn't know how wider I should let my legs be. I was unintentionally tempting him and it was wrong so I grabbed the comforter and covered my legs.

Tristan's eyes followed the moment and disappointment showed on his features. “You don't have to hide yourself from me. I… even if I… but I won't do anything. You can still trust me…”

I grabbed his hand and interlaced our fingers. “I trust you Tristan.” I told him genuinely. “I always will. This doesn't change anything.”

“Then why would you…” He said quietly.

“I don't want to make it difficult for you.”

He nodded and gently freed his hand from mine. My heartbeat picked up thinking the worst. I don't want Tristan to leave me. I've had so many people abandon me throughout my life but I can't survive if Tristan does the same. He's my only true friend.

I could do anything to make him stay.

“You can fuck me if you want.” I blurt out.

I don't have a problem with intimacy. It's nothing new to me. And if my best friend needs me for something he doesn't want to get elsewhere then I won't deny him that.

I can't lose him, no matter what it takes. With everyone else I knew they were only with me for sex but I'm sure that’s not the reason for Tristan's attention.

He's a teenager and sex can be a very painful thing when not provided. If that's what he needs then that's what I give him. I can't give him the world but I can give him what I have.

It's a gesture of my love.

His eyes widened and he looked at me in shock as I spoke again. “If you want, I will do it for you. It's not a big deal. You don't have to commit anything in return-”

“What the fuck are you even saying, Athena?” He slightly raised his voice in anger. “Do you think I lust you?”

I was confused about what to say so I said what made sense to me. “No. I know you don't like me like that. If it was any other woman inviting you to bed half naked then you might have felt the same thing. It's not me. You don't get intimate with anyone so obviously you're gonna have a high sex drive and it's okay. I just want to help you with that.”

“Are you even hearing yourself?” He shook his head in disbelief. “If I was so interested in sex I would’ve lost my virginity till now.”

“But you're a good boy. You want to find someone who you love. That's the only reason you're still a virgin because you haven't found her yet.” At this point, I was saying whatever came to my mind without thinking it twice. “But if the urges are getting strong and you want an easy way to… I’m okay with doing it with you, that's what friends are for afterall.”

He exhales harshly and gets up from the bed. “Let’s just have lunch. I'll be back in a minute.” He moved towards my bathroom. “I'm not leaving till you eat something.”

Saying that he went inside the bathroom. I wonder if he's gonna bust a nut in there. Or if he's gonna curse me to hell.

When he came back nearly ten minutes later, he was calm now. He didn't have the same anger and was trying to behave maturely about this.

I had put on sweatpants and a t-shirt which he noticed but didn't speak about. I knew I probably shouldn't forward my hand to him right now but I did because I don't want to change things between us. We can still be what we were.

He didn't hesitate and slipped his hand into mine making me sigh in relief. I'm glad he's not mad for my open offer of friends with benefits. I believe he can't ever be disgusted by me but today was a close call. He could’ve —might’ve— felt disgusted that a girl like me was trying to sleep with a pure guy like him.

I pulled him to sit next to him and placed my head on his shoulder with the tray of food in front of us. I was going to address the elephant in the room so we can sort it out but he beat me to it.

“Let's forget what happened. We're best friends and nothing can ever change that. It doesn't matter if I got turned on this once, I won't do it ever again. Just don't…” His hold tightened on mine. “Don't break this off.”

I looked at him and a smile graced my face. “I don't want to break this off either, Tristan. You mean so much to me. I love you more than you can ever imagine.”

“I love you too, Thena.” He said and kissed the side of my head.

I'm so relieved that nothing's gonna be changing. I was scared that Tristan would get awkward with something that's natural. But I'm glad he's so sensible.

————

I hate how they're trying to control me. It was so extreme to even take away Tristan's phone when he came to visit, as if they expected me to make questionable calls through it.

But it's my life now. I'll have to live according to these men because my grandpa is supporting them. In the hope they can fix me. If I'm being honest, I don't know how to fix myself. But I know it requires freedom. I want to be the only one in control of my life. I don't want to feel like I was forced to live this life because both of my parents abandoned me like trash.

I want to forget the cruel reality I was born in. I want to go around and do whatever I want, buy whatever I want and be with whoever I want because it makes me happy, it makes me feel powerful.

I know I'm attracted to money. I do get involved with some people for the same reason. But the feeling I get when they buy me something isn't just about money, it makes me feel worthy. It makes me feel special. Like I do deserve the affection that was stolen from me.

I don't need the so-called parents who left me, I can get other people to care for me. And they do. Their reasons may be selfish but they're still better than the people who never showed me an ounce of humanity.

“Athena?”

I halt in my steps and curse myself for getting out of my room just because I was bored. I should avoid them like plague, because they are one. But what else was I supposed to do without my phone?

I slowly turned around and gave Hades a small smile just because I didn't want to accidentally offend him.

“Yes…?”

He stepped towards me and my eyes instantly flicked to the hallway in hopes to see my grandpa walking towards us. Even if I’m not talking to him, I know he will protect me from his sons.

“Where are you going?” He must be thinking I'm sneaking out again.

“Game room… I was getting bored…”

I fiddled with my fingers, uncomfortable in the presence of the man because I'm sure he's just like his brother; an impulsive murderer.

“I’ll come with you.”

Oh God! Does he wanna unalive me? Why else would he join me otherwise? He hates my existence.

“Uh I… do you want to play some game?” I asked, trying to understand his motive.

“Sure.” What is that supposed to mean?

I didn't dare ask and started going downstairs when he gestured me to walk ahead of him. Going somewhere alone with one of the Konstantinos brothers scared me but I still hoped Hades won't be craving blood right now.

The gaming room was nothing less than a dream. It had arcade games along with a full fledged balling area, snooker table, chess, card games and what now.

When asked what I wanted to play, I chose scrabble, simply because it wasn't something that usually got people enraged and we could easily play it without my lack of skill of games becoming apparent.

Hades didn't just bring the game but also the snacks from the adjoining pantry here. I wordlessly set up the board and trays then dealt us equal alphabets while Hades was busy filling up bowls with the snacks.

He handed me a bowl along with a can of soda which I took after thanking him. I was uncomfortable with the complete silence but I didn't want to initiate a conversation so I kept munching on the crackers while playing my turns.

“What do you do all day in your room?” He asked after nearly ten minutes of little to no conversation —all related to the game.

I've locked myself up in my room ever since the officers left me to die. I ate when Tristan came to visit me the following afternoon and then I locked myself back again.

Grandpa came with dinner but I refused, neither did I eat this morning so the snacks Hades gave me felt like a blessing. But I didn't show my struggles on my face.

“Nothing really. I was just sleeping most of the time.” Or crying.

“Do you think Zephyr cares about you?”

The question made me pause for a second. “Why do you ask that?”

“You're locking yourself up and refusing to eat because you think that would hurt him, right?”

“I won't ever hurt myself to hurt him. I don't care whether he's hurt or happy or trying to steal my grandpa right now.” I made myself clear. “And to expand your knowledge, he doesn't even like me so starving myself for him would be a lost cause.”

“Then you must think if Zephyr sees you like this then he’ll stop killing people to protect you, right?”

“I have no intention to change him. He can go kill thousands more because I don't care what he does with his life. And I doubt he would ever change for anyone.” I scoffed.

“What's the reason for being isolated and starving yourself then? Do you want to hurt dad?”

My face drops and I stare at him with an unsettling feeling taking over me. “I would never hurt my grandpa. He means the world to me.”

“So…?” He asked so comfortably like we've been friends for decades. “Why are you doing this then?”

“Because I-” Did I really not know what to say or I was confused being put on the spot. “I was actually… this is not just because I'm a bratty teen or… or I’m stubborn or I don't know what to do…”

“That made no sense to me. Could you elaborate what you meant?”

“You won't understand because you’re not in my shoes.” I accused him.

“Or maybe…” He leaned forward to look me directly in the eyes. “I will understand because you're an exact replica of us. We made the same mistake and were stuck in the same situation because we were just as oblivious to reality as you are.”