Athena's Pov

“I might kill myself from boredom.” I whined sprawling on the carpet of grandpa’s room like a fussy toddler.

“Then ask Tristan to come over tomorrow morning. You can both swim in the backyard or you can go play something in the game room.” Grandpa advised.

“No actually I just remembered there's a movie I've been putting off for a while I'll just watch that.” I made an excuse.

Grandpa looked at me weirdly before asking. “Did you fight with Tristan?”

“Not at all. Why'd you ask that?” I chuckled to make it seem normal.

“I haven't seen you calling him lately, you don't talk about him either. You never really went so many days without telling me you’re missing him so much.”

“Grandpa, relax. You're worried for no reason, we're totally cool. Still best friend.” Or maybe a little more.

Grandpa touched my arm. “All okay? You look stressed.”

I shook my head and tucked a stray strand behind my ear. “It's nothing really… I met him when I went to pick up my journals, so it's uh… I thought we could meet some other day…”

“That was six days ago. Usually you two love to meet daily.”

“But now we live quite far away, grandpa. I guess we've gotten used to not meeting everyday.”

Grandpa didn't believe any of my words. If I was in his place, I wouldn't either. For the last sixteen years we’ve been glued together, it's definitely unusual for us to suddenly maintain a distance.

“What happened?” He demands.

I sighed and finally dropped the fake smile. “I messed up.”

“How?”

“I… No. Tristan, he….” How do I even word this? This is such a weird conversation. “I'm so blind, grandpa. How did I not know before? I seriously thought I knew Tristan but now… Aghhhh.”

I rolled to my side and hid my face from grandpa. I was so confused myself, how am I supposed to explain everything to him?

Grandpa got out of his bed and came to sit on the floor in front of me before gently guiding my head to his lap. It's been so long since I last acted like a little baby with him but God it's so comforting.

He ran his finger through my hair. “Now tell me what happened?”

“I don't know where to start.” I mumbled.

“Start with what's on top of your mind.”

“So basically…” I took a moment to think before speaking so I don't accidentally say something I don't want him to know. “I always thought Tristan was… I thought we were just good friends…” I fell silent.

“If I had to make a wild guess… Did he confess his feelings?”

“You knew?” My eyes widened and I looked at him with betrayal burning my chest. “And you didn't tell me?”

I felt so betrayed. But more than anything I was confused that grandpa didn't mind that. He never liked boys around me so I assumed Tristan was an exception because he didn't show any interest in me. But he always wanted me and grandpa knew that.

“Well… you didn't like him, he was too shy to confess and I didn't want to interfere in your relationship.” He shrugged.

“You could've at least given me a hint. You know what all I've done in front of him? I've literally told him about all my pedo boyfriends. Can you imagine how hurt he must be seeing me fuck around like that?”

Grandpa sighed. “What happened happened. Don't think of the past. None of it matters to him, he understands you. He's a nice guy.”

“That's what I'm confused about. How can he still love me after all that I've done.”

“Because he’s seen the real you, Athena. He knows who you really are. And that person in you is so lovable.”

“I'm not as good as you and Tristan make me sound.” I said, looking away from him.

“You are. Tristan has seen the side of you that no one has the privilege to see. Your caring, loving and honest side. That's the reason he doesn't want to let you go. That's why he loves you.”

It took me a minute to reach the conclusion which I blurted out, “You think we should date!” It wasn't a question, but a statement.

“Well if I'm being honest… I think he's the right person for you.” Before I could jump in happiness, grandpa added. “But the right person doesn't always have to be your boyfriend. He can be just your friend and always stay by your side.”

I shook my head in disagreement. “I’ve fallen for wrong people my whole life. If there's someone right for me… don't you think I should have me?”

“You should. I want what's best for you, Athena. But people don't always fall for the right person. You didn't.”

Tristan was the right person for me. He's always been even when I was unable to see it. I always seeked him because his intentions were pure for me and now knowing he finds the same comfort in me, I cannot get the possibility of our relationship out of my mind.

“My case is different, grandpa. I didn't fall for him because I thought he didn't want me. I thought he'd never want to be with someone like me. But now…” I gulped. “Now that I know he wants me, I don't want to let him go.”

“So you want him to be your boyfriend?” He asked softly.

I bit my lip feeling awkward telling my grandpa about my crush on the guy who I've always vowed to be just a friend.

“No one can ever understand me like Tristan does. He has everything I want in a man, and if he wants me then I think it's best for both of us if we start dating…” “Hmm…” Grandpa looked to be in thought. “Don’t you think you're making the decision in haste?”

“When have I ever taken any decision with patience?”

I've always acted on impulsives. That's how I am. No matter how much everyone tells me it's not good for me, I can't give that up. I can't give up each trait, each habit and each characteristic that makes me me.

I'll lose myself if I go to the extent of being the person everyone wants to see me as.

“Most of those decisions have proven to be wrong.” Grandpa replied.

“But I'm sure about this one. Tristan and I are best friends and now we want to take it a step further. What's the worst that could happen?”

Grandpa sighed. “I just… I don't want you to ruin your friendship because you two couldn't make a relationship work.”

“I know… that's what I'm scared of but… I think Tristan’s got me. He always guides me, he can help me develop my first healthy relationship. He can show me what true love is.”

Since the day I started getting into relationships, I've always seeked one where I could feel safe. Where I won't feel the need to pretend and where I won’t be loved just for my body. And I'm sure Tristan can give me that.

He gave me a slow nod. “Your words do make sense, Athena. But make sure you don't get dependent on him. Both of you should try to put equal efforts to make this work.”

“We will, grandpa. We can't bear to lose our bond. You both need each other.” I tried convincing him.

“Then what's stopping you from committing to him?” He asked then chuckled. “Certainly not because your poor grandpa said you're too young to have a boyfriend. You never listen to him.”

“I do listen to you sometimes…” I scowled and sat up to grab his hand. “I'm scared I’ll… I don't wanna accidentally hurt him because I'm so messed up in my head.”

“Taking some time out for yourself might be the right decision-”

“No. I want to do this. Right now. I want to make him mine because he's willing for it.”

I might not be ready for a relationship but if Tristan's by my side, nothing can go wrong. Some things just feel right. I don't care if it's the wrong time but I won't back off.

Grandpa licked his lips to borrow some time to think. “Tell him that then. Talk to him about it. Talk to him about your fears and how you feel about him now. Then see what he thinks should be done.”

I nodded and he continued. “I've always tried to guide you to the right path, Athena. But some decisions are yours to make. Tristan isn't a predator you need to be saved from so it's up to you to do what you think is best.”

“Of course...” I mumbled.

Grandpa placed his hand on my head. “You might make the worst mistakes, Athena but I know for sure that one thing you're incapable of, is hurting Tristan. So don't doubt yourself about it. You're not selfish or toxic. If you choose him I know you'll be the best for him.”

I nodded with pure determination in my eyes and hastily got up from the floor. “I think I should talk to Tristan.”

Grandpa must've thought I was gonna call him and I made no effort to correct the misunderstanding. Instead I ran upstairs to Hades' room. He said he would take me wherever I tell him to. Let's test how true that was.

After two impatient knocks I finally heard a ‘come in’ and barged in without wasting a second. As I stepped inside I saw Ares sitting with him on the bed with papers and files sprawled in front of them.

Hades looked sleepy, dressed only in his sweatpants and it seemed like he’s being forced to work. While Ares was dressed in a tux like he's just got back from a party.

“You need something, Athena?” Hades asked, putting on a t-shirt.

“Actually…” I debated if I should really take another impulsive decision. “Do you remember six days ago when I came back from the cafe with Zephyr you promised to take me wherever I want…”

He titled his head to the side in suspicion. “Yes…”

“I wanna go out right now.” I blurt out.

“It's three am.” Ares said like this would change my mind.

“I know.”

“Where do you wanna go?” Hades asked.

“To Tristan’s house.”

“Why-”

“Please.”

He took a breath like he's losing a debate to me. “I don't think we should disturb his parents so late.”

“We won't. I'll sneak in.”

“How do you plan to do that?”

“Through his bedroom window. There's a drainage pipe that I climb to get there.” I explained to them.

Ares narrowed his eyes. “You've done it before?”

I gave them an uncertain nod. It was so difficult to convince them I really needed to meet my best friend right now and I couldn't wait till our school started again which was only two days away.

“Um… you know grandpa and Tristan's parents advised us to um sleep at night but sometimes you just… you have something so important to tell your best friend that you can't wait till morning and calls won't suffice so you have to sneak into his room.” I looked at both of them bearing weird expressions. “You're relating to me, right?”

“Totally.” Hades shook his head in disbelief. “Ten minutes. Go put on a warmer jacket, it's cold outside.”