So we ended up eating dinner without the wine. The ram wandering the condo was James' familiar, and it was affectionate towards Carmen. She couldn't see it but sneezed every time it nuzzled her. Anyway, while we ate dinner James explained to us why he put up the barrier.

"My ex girlfriend, Li Meng. She was too clingy, so I dumped her. She kept coming back, following me wherever I go. I keep putting up barriers but she somehow found a way through them. Then I remembered she had that weird, hopping step whenever she walked. Y'know about Chinese vampires, do ye Lena?"

"I know little about them to be honest." Growing up we, hearing mostly from clan members, don't consider them to be true vampires. Their hopping step and the fact that they're lackeys for witches in the Far East of Asia are reasons why. They're almost like zombies but not like the horde in those apocalypses on TV. That's vampire racism in a way. Who says vampires can't be racist?

"My aunt told me that Chinese vampires, jiangshi, can't hop over a six-inch piece of wood at the base of a doorframe. So I bought some wood beams from the hardware store, cut them to the right size, added some runes, soaked them in a herbal mixture, and I was all set. The thing is, I've never seen her since I put up the barrier."

"Maybe you did something extra when you set it up," Carmen suggested, "like overshooting a titration."

"Or read the recipe wrong," I added in.

"Nae, I followed the directions down to the very last detail. I can show you the spell. Let me get the piece of paper if I didnae place it in my pockets before washing my clothes." James stood up and went to retrieve something from his room.

While waiting, Carmen jumped in her seat only for the familiar to bump into the chair while wandering around. "What was that?"

"It's nothing." I replied.

"Ramsay, now is nae a good time," James scolded his familiar, and it baaed back.

"Where is that sheep sound coming from?" Carmen uttered.

Personally, I couldn't get over his choice for a familiar name. What did he name it? Ramsay MacRamface?

"Shut up! It's nae like I gave him that name." He unfolded the paper and slapped it onto the table. No surprise the recipe for the spell was written in Chinese.

"How am I supposed to read that?" Carmen complained.

"It's nae in Chinese. My aunt wrote it in English."

I looked closer at the text and hidden among the characters were the words in English, but upside down. I took the piece of paper and turned it upright.

"Now it makes sense. And what the heck is a Class Nine root?"

"Class Nine?" James snatched it back and looked at the specific ingredient. "Class Nine is never used in barrier and protection spells."

"The root you wanted comes from Class Three, right?" I asked James.

James looked at me with a puzzling expression. "Who told ye this?"

"I grew up with a nanny who was a witch."

He said nothing after my statement and reread the recipe. "That's weird. It's supposed to be Class Three, nae Class Nine.

"Is that an extra penstroke?" Carmen pointed at the number nine symbol on the paper.

"Let me see that again." I grabbed the recipe from James and looked at what might've been the extra penstroke. After rubbing my finger over it, something ashy smudged onto the tip. I took a whiff and recognized the smell. "Whoever wrote this wasn't rolling a joint, were they?"

Carmen sneered at James. "So, how have you been making money to get a condo like this? I doubt it's the shop owned by your auntie."

James' face turned red. "It's all legal. I mean there are other ways to get high besides marijuana."

"And you've been marketing the stuff as the real thing."

"As long as they dinnae the ingredients. Also, I have a garden which grows the things I need. Speaking of which." He opened a drawer and quickly scanned what he had. " Shite!"

"Now what?" Carmen and I stood up and walked into the kitchen. The drawer was an organized mess of Tupperware and bottles. None of the bottles had labels. No wonder he mixed up one thing for another.

He picked up one of the containers. "Nae only am I out of the ingredient I need I used the wrong one when creating the barrier spell."

"Basically, we're trapped in here?" I asked. Not that I had a problem. I mean I could survive feeding from both of them. Then again, James has knowledge of spells that are harmful to vampires.

"Looks like it, until some lucky bastard come along who can help us. I'm nae that well liked with other witches."

A huge grin lit Carmen's face. "I think I may know the lucky bastard that can help us." She ran to get her phone from her purse, nearly tripping over the ram along the way. "Max? Yeah it's Carmen. I need a favour."

While Carmen made her phone call, James asked, "Ye weren't thinking of feeding off me first just because I have no legs, were ye?"

"Nota chance." Okay, I lied. He was my first choice if we were trapped hereforever. Take out the threat before it can strike, am I right?

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Will they get the barrier down or will Lena go into beast mode? Friendly reminder that this is a work of fiction and that characters don't share the views of the author at times. Lead characters don't exactly have to be the hero of the story and even heroes have flawed thinking.

Just in case some reader think Lena is racist or something along those lines against jiangshi, there is something underlying to it, but it deals with another messy topic I don't want to mention here. While there are some serious themes in this story, overall it's supposed to be a satire/genre parody.

And you know the drill. If you enjoy what you've read so far, vote, leave a comment, maybe spread the word to those who may be interested.

edited: 15/01/2018

08/01/2018