The following takes place after 5.5

I'm a vampire. I have super speed. Why do I take public transportation when I could run as fast as a cheetah? It's fair play as a hunting ground, though not the best place during rush hour. The body odour and the cramming of passengers into a small car, you get the idea.

I made it to the Tavern and took a seat at the bar. Bar rails were on special and I ordered two Extra Bloody Marys. They were just what I needed to get a certain someone off my mind.

"Had a spat with Carmen, Lena?" Basil asked while swirling his rum and coke.

"She fine, thanks," I replied, scooting away.

"What about that obsessive fanboy? The goth-looking kid?"

I scooted even further. "If you referring to Max, I-"

"Not Max." He sat on the second barstool from my left. "The ghost who's been making a mess in the Central-West district. He's still following you around, isn't he?"

I gulped the first glass and set it on the coaster. "Gone. Move on. I'm done." I glanced at the foosball table and notice one player was missing. "What brings you here and not there?"

Basil waved at the Bartender and ordered another drink. Once it was in his hand he answered, "I've been having attachment problems of my own. Glad yours is over and done with. Maybe you could give me a few tips?"

"Crazy-ass ex?"

He tilted his head back. "Much worse than a vindictive ex."

"Enlighten me. What is worse than Dr- I mean him?"

Basil placed an elbow upon the bar and leaned his head against his fist. "A hostage situation."

The worst!

He swirled his drink and continued, "I took home a human female as my meal, and I was certain I had her sedated. The plan was to take a sip and escort her back to where I snatched her, but she woke prematurely."

"I assume she freaked out when she saw you bearing fang?"

He let out a nervous chuckle. "If only that were her reaction. She freaked, but also claimed that I've abducted her to become my sex slave."

If I were a cartoon character, my jaw would've dropped to the floor and I'd be fixing it to my face. Best I could do was stare at Basil with my mouth agape. "That is the weirdest reaction to waking up about to be drained." The smart thing to fix the situation would be to hypnotize your food to sleep, or give them a Vulcan nerve pinch. Basil, even if he's century older, wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

"I expected something like that would happen using escort services. What I didn't expect is for her to have an abduction fantasy. So I played along pretending to be this aggressive vampire keeping her captive." He buried his face in hands and rubbed his eyes. "One month this has been going on and I can't get it to end."

I wasn't sure who the real hostage was in this situation. If Basil contacted the police and the crazy escort claims she was abducted, it'd be trouble for him. If he kept up the charade, he's at her mercy. "Why are you fucking here, and who is watching over her?"

"Like I'd keep a fully stocked bar in my basement," he answered while rolling his eyes. "What am I? An attractive millionaire with endless wealth?"

"You sought an escort service for a meal when you could've taken any human off the street."

He frowned and nodded, then downed his drink. The moment he set his glass down, Pirate Ghost poofed between us.

"I told ya not ta bring yer crack to the Tavern if y'ain't gonna watch 'er like an 'awk!" He slammed a fist on the bar. While his fist went through the wood half-way, it was with enough force to rattle the glasses and bottles.

Basil rubbed his temples. "Speak English will you, Rufus?"

"I am speaking English, ya cup-shot!" Pirate Ghost pointed at the corner where the foosball table stood. "Yar lass up and skedaddled!" All I saw were people crowding around the table, spilling beer whenever someone scored. Sure was interesting to watch instead of hearing Basil bicker with the ghost, but my saviour came in the form of a dwarf-statured man.

"Excuse me," he grunted while climbing onto the barstool. He shuddered too as he ran through Pirate Ghost. "Izvinitie, mne nuzhen razgovorit s Talyoi. Eto srochno."

Bartender nodded as he stopped cleaning a wine glass and walked to the kitchen.

The dwarf looked at me and Basil. "You haven't heard the rumours, have you? There's a thief taking valuables from vampires and witches."

Basil laughed and rocked back and forth while doing so. "Thieves attempting to steal from witches let alone vampires? Are they seeking a death wish?"

"Ya wouldn't believe how gullible some of them can be," Pirate Ghost commented, and I agreed with him.

"No, they're after anything that can sell to the highest bidder," the dwarf said while cracking his stubby knuckles. "I've had a painting and a small chest of doubloons stolen. Once I learn who pilfered them, I'm gonna unleash--"

Before dwarf revealed his plan, Bartender drew out a rifle and shot at the stairs. An anguished meow echoed in the room. From the shadows, what appeared to be a cat grew and shifted into a young woman with short curly, black hair, and tiny breasts. What? You expected that she reverted to human form fully clothed?

Basil leapt to his feet. He scowled and pointed at the naked woman. "That's her!"

A patron covered in piercings stepped forward. "She seduced my ex to steal a sacred, ceremonial dagger!"

Everyone focused their attention on her. She drew in her arms though it wasn't due to her nakedness. "Help me," she said, her voice shaky, "I've been kidnapped and transformed into a cat by a witch. I'm afraid she might find me. Won't you please let me stay?"

For sure Talia had something valuable hidden in the Tavern. She practically lived here! She too possibly owned a ceremonial dagger, or her grimoire decorated with some powerful gemstones. Maybe she had the secrets to eternal youth. That would be worth stealing and making President for Life a reality. Joke would be on them as eternal youth doesn't make one immortal.

And speaking of Talia, who arrived at the same time as Bartender's return, she chanted something in a language unknown to me. It might've been Chechen or another mountain language. Anyway, the moment she began chanting, a wind picked up. I'd say it was more of a gale, but no tables or chairs flew. Posters did, but that's not important. As for the naked woman, Talia's spell launched her through the roof.

"Good riddance to her!" Basil raised a glass to the hole in the roof. Talia, however, hadn't finished her work just yet. Before he took that victory sip, he too was launched through the roof.

"Good riddance to him," the dwarf said as he caught Basil's glass intact with drink.

Talia took a swig of an elixir that resembled a lava lamp. "He'll be back, Ruslan. I kicked him out because he brought her in. He still owes me his bar tab."

The dwarf, Ruslan, downed the rest of his drink. "You can thank me later by getting rid of mine. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the arcade playing PACMAN." He leapt off the barstool and walked to the crowded corner. Pirate Ghost followed him, mumbling something about no one bothering to walk around him.

Simultaneously, Max and James arrived and immediately walked over to the bar.

"I wasnae expecting ye to show," James said as Max sat on a barstool. "How's Carmen?"

"She's better, but not one hundred percent. I would've texted but--" I drew out the molded mess that was once my phone.

Max sighed and fixed his posture. "I was worried you didn't get James' texts. We usually ride the bus together when Carmen isn't driving."

James nodded as he played with a lighter. "The bus broke down two stops after Max got on. We walked the rest of the way."

"The bus was brand new too," Max added. "There's no chance the bus would be on the road without it being checked."

I slammed a fist onto the bar, startling Max. I didn't have to guess who was responsible for the bus breaking down. Fucking Draven!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruslan isn't a dwarf in the fantasy creature sense. A more politically correct term would be little person, but if you're reading the bonus content you know Lena isn't all politically correct.

As for what he says to the bartender, it roughly goes "Excuse me, I need to speak with Talia. It's urgent!" But if you're Russian's better than mine, feel free to correct it.