• everything I've ever done, I want to do with you •

Chapter 11:

It's him. Finally it's him.

And this time I know it's the real him because my heart and body reacts without my permission. My heart beats faster than ever as I watch Sky walk away, going into the school like he didn't even see me. I don't even have time to be angry to question what's going on because of the beating in my chest. It's so hard, I go dizzy.

"What the hell just happened?" I recognize Nile's voice ask but only my body is there. I start moving before I even know it.

"Israel wait," Jamal grabs my hand, stopping me from going any further.

I frown and turn to him, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. "Let go."

"Wait, you can't just go after him like that."

My lips twitch, it's like I want to smile, even though my eyes sting like I want to cry. "It's him. You saw him."

Mal shrugs, "yeah but he saw you too and he just walked on. Seems a lot suspicious."

I yank my hand off Mal. "It's Sky. It doesn't matter. Maybe he didn't see me."

"But..."

I don't wait for Jamal to finish before I literally take off. My feet bouncing off the floor as I ran, I shove and squeeze through people, not bothering to say any 'excuse me' as my eyes search for him. I see him entering into the principal's office and I don't even think about it and I run after him, grabbing his shoulder right before the door closes.

Sky turns to me, surprised and when his eyes land on me, he squints them in confusion.

I can't even help the big smile on my face anymore. It's impossible to hide and I feel so dizzy and lightheaded, I can't be in my right senses at the moment. "Sky," I breathe out.

He swallows, grey/silver eyes on me and all the memories flash right before my very eyes. I want to hug him but I'm afraid he'd disappear if I do. Is he even real? One thing that's different though, in his cat eyes, is the lack of recognition. Even when I didn't know him, he knew me.

"I'm sorry, I um..." Sky trails off and when he looks like he wants to say something else, the principal interrupts.

"Israel?" I tear my eyes away from Sky and over to her. "Can you give us a moment? Wait for me outside please."

I nod, feeling so confused and lost. It's like being in your room, you can feel it's your room but the bed is stronger, the wallpaper sucks and the reading table has none of your books on it. I start backing away, still looking at Sky and he looks at me too. He looks at me like he's trying to figure me out, except now, he has no idea who I am in the first place.

My wait outside the principal's office is torturous as many different scenarios run through my mind and I try and fail to think sensibly. My legs keep bouncing, I keep chewing my lips and holding back tears. What happened to him? What happened to my Sky? I want to cry, not because I am hurt that he doesn't recognize me but because I am wondering what could have happened that made it so. It must have been bad. He must have been in so much pain and I couldn't do anything about it. He must have been so lonely. The year away must have sucked more than mine did and that's saying a lot.

Minutes go by and this time I can't keep count because my mind is too busy and it's impossible to calm it down enough to count. Anyway, the principals door finally open and Sky and the girl he was with outside comes out the office. Our eyes meet again but this time he looks away first and walks away with the girl. I get up, ready to follow him when—

"Israel come in for a minute," the principal says, calling me.

I shake my head. "No ma'am, I don't need anything I was actually waiting for —"

"Come in Israel," she says leaving no room for an excuse.

I roll my eyes and follow her into the office, closing the door behind me. I stand awkwardly in her office, looking around at the awards and book shelves and when she takes a sit, she tells me to do so too.

"I didn't know you and Mr Hunt were close," she starts saying as soon as my butt hits the chair.

I nod, my fingers finding each other under the table. "Yeah, he was my— my friend. Before he left."

She nods, "I take it this is the first time you guys are seeing, since um, since he left."

I nod. "Yeah."

"Well, Israel, I don't know if you know this but Sky had surgery."

I nod, and gulp. "I know."

"He had a tumor in his brain. Has been struggling with it for a while, this was his second surgery."

I look up at that. "I- I didn't know that."

She nods, pursing her lips. "Yeah, it's not something a lot of people talk about. Anyway, as you must have guessed, a second surgery on the brain, that's a big deal and unfortunately this time, Sky wasn't so lucky..."

That is where I zone out. I still hear everything she says but there's a ringing in my ear that wasn't there before and a squeeze in my heart that's new. I get the last part of what she says loud and clear.

"...It would be best if you give him his space and don't try to make him remember. He might never remember and trying could cause more damage than there is."

I left the office feeling emptier than ever. It was like there was a gaping open hole in my heart now, beating and bleeding and the ringing in my head doesn't stop. For a moment, it seems like my head is immersed in water.

"Easy Issy."

"...and enjoy all the benefits that comes with being with Sky Hunt."

"You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you."

"Coffee is life sweetheart!"

"I think I love you."

"Israel!" Mal shouts, grabbing my hand and mentally pulling my head out of the water just when I feel like I'm drowning. My hazy eyes look at Mal's and he looks so worried, he sighs. "Damn, I thought you were going to pass out or something. What happened?"

I shake my head, the words not coming out. My body gives in and the tears escape.

"Did you meet Sky? What happened?"

"It's not him," I manage to choke out, my voice cracking and the tears bursting out as I fall over Jamal's body. He easily catches me though and hold me in tight hug as I breakdown, crying my eyes out like I just lost someone. I did. It feels like I did.

Jamal carefully leads me to the bathroom where I cry my eyes out but even when the tears stop coming, the pain doesn't stop. I recall as much as I could to Jamal of what the principal told me and I might have been seeing things but it looks like a tear left him too. After crying my eyes out, I stay in the bathroom, trying and failing to get myself back. I didn't even know what to think or what to feel.

Sky must be in so much pain if he can't remember all the things that happened months or years before his surgery. He must feel so lost. I wondered how far back he lost. Am I in any memory of his? Well what's the use? It's just going to hurt more if I am.

I have all these memories but they are just with me. He doesn't share them too. Its like I was left stranded in the middle of the ocean. He has probably moved on, he has moved on without me. And there's nothing I can do about it because I don't want to cause him pain. According to the principal she already relayed the news to a few of his close friends and they know not to push him to remember or stress his brain.

Lunch time, I come out the bathroom after a lot of convincing by Jamal and he lets me wear Nile's sunglasses to cover my eyes because they were lined blood red and very puffy too. Everybody would know I cried my heart out. I didn't want everyone to know that.

Our table is silent and no one asks me anything, Jamal already briefed them and they just all watch me play with my food and pretend like my world isn't falling apart.

"Hey," Louie greets, coming to sit by me and placing a hand on my shoulder. Unlike other times where my heart would skip a beat or my skin would tingle. Nothing happens this time. Louie looks around the table and sighs. "I guess you've all heard then."

"That Sky wiped his memory and Israel out of his life, basically getting a blank slate?" Nile asks. "Yup, we've heard."

"Nile," Darcy scolds, trying to get her to not hurt me. I've thought of everything and said everything in my mind already, nothing they could say could do more damage but she didn't know that.

"I'm sorry Israel," Louie says, squeezing my shoulder gently. "It hurts but it'll get better and you don't need to see him all the time. This school is big enough for you both never to meet."

"He remembers you?" I ask, knowing the answer to that. Louie hesitantly nods. Of course Sky remembers Louie, they've known each other longer. I nod and slap my tongue over the roof of my mouth. "I want to see him." I turn to the table where Sky was sitting, the one place I've been trying not to look at since I entered the cafeteria. "I always want to see him. In fact, I don't want him out of my sight, ever again."

"Israel..." it's Mal's voice calling me but I don't look away from Sky.

"It's fine. Just let me have this at least."

No one says anything after that and the day continues like every normal day, except this time, Sky is here and Sky's not mine.

*

Over the next few days, I keep my eyes on Sky. When he walks through the hallway, when he stops by his locker, when he smiles, walks into a class, runs his fingers through his hair, I keep my eyes on him. I find myself smiling at times like a lunatic but I never said I was sane anyway so it's fine.

One time I'm at the bleachers, I am waiting for Jamal because he had a math quiz in school and only nerds were allowed to attend. I needed his help with my physics, so I decided to wait for him. Coincidentally I see Sky jogging in the field. He was with the girl that had pink hair, the girl he was with the first day I saw him again and she looked like she joined the track team. The sunlight hit Sky's tanned glowing skin and he practically shined. I caught myself smiling and I didn't even know when Sky turned to me, until I blinked and he was staring right back at me, up in the bleachers.

I watch him say a word to the girl and then he leaves the tracks and starts walking. It takes me a second to realize he is walking towards me and I want to look away but I can't. My heartbeat accelerates and I watch him walk to me, looking like the Adonis he is.

No, no don't come near me.

Something told me if he came close, I wouldn't let him go far again. There has been a thought in my mind, a thought I've been fighting and refusing go give in to; if he loved me before, he can love me again.

As Sky came closer, I started giving in to the thought, playing around with it becoming a reality.

He is right in front of me now and I'm looking up at his cat eyes, completely entranced and forgetting the principal's words for a minute. "Israel, right?"

I slowly nod, my heart racing. He is talking to me! "Yeah, Sky."

It's settled, I want him back.

—————- Hi everyone. I know you all hate me now and it's understandable, I wouldn't like me either 🤦🏽‍♀️. Anyway, if you want to hear the long story on why I was gone so long, do tell and I might just dedicate a page to telling.

But back to the book, in case you haven't noticed, the plot from the first chapter has changed. This is official a Continuation from Sinful Discovery. I hope you all like it.

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