“at the end of the day... we always have a choice.”

Chapter 7

“Just another corner."

“I swear you're taking us to a dead end."

I shake my head to myself, although Lou couldn't see me because he was in his car behind me. “Not true, you'll see.”

“If there was a frozen yoghurt shop here, it's long gone love."

I swallow, a little shudder going through me at the thought of Frosty not being there. It's like the only other link apart from the forest that I have with Sky. And the forest isn't just ours, Frosty is like just ours. If it isn't here anymore, it like Sky and I weren't either. Everything cannot be gone. “It's there." I don't wait to hear Lou's reply before I cut the call and toss my phone to the passenger seat.

My heart in my throat as I make the last turn, going down a turn that almost has me jamming my teeth in and then I see it— the very old Frozen yoghurt shop with the fallen sign, unfortunately unlike the last time, the R is now gone. I practically jump out of the car just to look at the building, turn around to see Lou getting out of his and spread my arm open with what I think has to be my widest smile.

"See?!"

Lou laughs, his cheeks colouring. "Wow, you were right after all."

"I told you it is here, don't you doubt me again mister," I can't seem to contain my happiness and I turn back to the building. "Welcome to the best frozen yoghurt shop in town."

"Fosty?" Lou pronounces, raising a brow at me.

"... we'll all frosty and fosty together."

I nod, "was once Frosty but I think Fosty is more charming, don't you?"

"Yeah," he nods in agreement or to humor me. "Unique."

"Come on," I don't know when I hold unto his hand and drag us both into the shop.

It's just the way I remember it, just a little more dusty and empty. The fallen R sign is sitting by the corner there, and there's not a single soul around, not even at the counter. Seeing this doesn't burst the bubble inside me though and I press on the bell on the counter multiple times until a bearded man, Jake, I am guessing, comes out to greet us. He looks surprised to see us and apologies for the delay before attending to us. I get exactly what I got the last time and Lou gets his with a couple toppings— chocolate, cheesecake cubes, and bananas.

"You're going to eat all that?" I ask him eying his cup once we take a seat by the window.

He smirks at me, "and you're going to eat only that?"

I look at mine. "Yup."

Lou smacks his tongue over the roof of his mouth, "I could have gotten more. Do you think he has gummy bears?"

"Lou!"

"Kidding."

"No, you're not."

He winks, "you know me so well."

I inhale deeply, trying to relax and maybe feel him. Yes it was long ago but presence lingers, doesn't it.

"Why do you like this place so much?" Lou asks, taking a full spoon of all his topping and dumping on mine.

I gather a few of my blueberries and dump in his too. "It's quite, reserve... what's not to like?"

He eats off his spoon and points said spoon at me. "That's not all."

I blush slightly, filling my mouth with the cold treat before nodding. "It's part of it. I also like it because it's one of the many- few places Sky brought me too."

"Oh."

"Yup. When we came the R sign was still there though and he talked so passionately about this place, I just had to come back." I look down at the table. "Even if just to assure myself that this exists and my time with him did too."

Silence.

"It did exist, he loved you."

I look up at him. "And how do you know?"

"Because he brought you to a dying fro-yo shop and not me. I'm super jealous."

I almost laugh. "That makes no sense Lou."

"It does to me."

"Okay, how?"

"Well," he looks around like he's checking to see if we're still alone here or maybe he hasn't gotten a good look of the place yet. "This kind of places usually mean something to people, I mean why else would one come here. And it meant something to him and that's why he brought you here, because you're special to him. You only share special places and things like this with special people or person."

I look at Lou, wondering if that really came out of him and not all that surprised. He's the kind of person that totally says things like that, get you off guard and make you feel all weird inside— whether he does it on purpose or not, I have no idea. I just shrug in response. But I have no doubt Sky loved me, it's in myself the doubt lies and maybe coming here was just a form of torture to myself. He loved me, he was here and I let him go.

"So," he drawled, "what had you all worked up earlier?"

"The future."

"Why are you getting worked up about the future?"

I exchange berries with him again, his concoction is actually really nice. "If I don't worry about the future, what then is there to worry about?"

"Now?" He says in a duh tone. "I mean, I'm sure you have something to worry about on your plate for now."

"Nothing that can be solved, so future stuff it is." I mumble before filling up my mouth.

"Like what?"

"Hm?"

"Like what?" He raises a brow.

I look at his blue eyes and they look inviting enough to hear whatever. I exhale and start listing off my finger. "Like my English lit assignment, like my hair and it's fading dye, like my non-existent cursed love life..." I trail off and Lou is still looking at me, not blinking or laughing. I take a pause there, blushing and putting down my fingers. "Um- t-that's all for now."

"You sure?"

I just nod.

"When's the English assignment due?"

"Two weeks."

"I'll help."

"You'll help what?"

"I'll help you in your assignment," he nods when I give him a look. "You know I'm good with books."

"Okay, sure. What's the catch?"

"We'll do it next week."

I groan. "Nope, something else might come up next week."

"Then we'd do that thing, upper next week."

I narrow my eyes at him. "What if it absolutely has to be dealt with immediately?"

"Then between the two of us, I'm sure we're smart enough to handle it."

"Lou..."

"So deal?"

"I'm not comfortable--"

"Deal?" He presses on and when I look at him, he wiggles his brow in a way that makes me laugh.

"Fine, whatever. If I fail, it's on you."

"Good. Now what's up with your hair dye?"

I consciously touch my hair, "the gold brown's fading off, I want to do it again but the last time, I didn't really plan it, my sister Nessa helped and I took a big risk with my mum."

"Okay."

I bite my lip. "I don't think I have the courage to take that risk again but I really like the look so."

Lou chuckles, "you like it, then do it."

"Not that easy, my mum might whoop my ass or shave off my hair."

"But she didn't the last time."

"Yes but you don't know my mother. She behaves like she's on crack sometimes." Lou burst out laughing and I join him. "I swear it's true, no offense to my mum. Or black mothers."

"That's all mothers Taylor."

"Including your Asian mum?"

"Especially my Asian mum."

"Hm," I look him over to be sure he's not pulling my legs. "Wow, I honestly thought it was just black mum's being all crazy and exaggerated."

"I don't know but my mum can be pretty crazy like that too."

I raise up a spoon full for cheers and Lou does too. "To exaggerated mums."

"Cheers."

"So should I ask my mum?"

"No way, never heard of the rule; it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

"What if she wants to shave my head after?"

"Run to your dad. Threaten to kill yourself if she does, do whatever."

I smile at him, "why does it feel like you've done this before?"

He shyly keeps his head down. "What?"

"Lou, explain yourself."

"It just happened once." He's face is all red now and I can't help but burst into laughter.

"When? What happened?"

He looks at me, clearly debating whether to come clean or not. Then he sighs and mutters to himself, "why can't I resist?" I don't think he intended for me to hear that and so I don't react like I did. "So um, it happened two years after my mum brought me here and refused to take me back to France?"

"Grade 2?"

"Yup, I didn't exactly like it here."

I blink, "what? Really?"

He shrugs, "I might my dad, was too little to understand what was going on between my parents and kids here made fun of my accent."

This is all new news to me. I never would have thought, he looked so... "You looked so happy then," I voice out my thoughts.

He nods with a shy smile, "it wasn't all that bad. My sister like it here and you gotta admit, I look more handsome smiling than frowning, so..."

I shake my head in amusement. "I'm sorry you had a hard time then."

He flicks my head with a finger, "it was so long ago Taylor. What you apologizing for?"

"Ouch and I felt like. I mean, if I had known, maybe- just maybe I'd have gotten the courage to be your friend." I confess, then I shrug trying and failing to shake off some of the heat from my face. "I was having a little hard time then too, I guess."

"I'm sorry."

I scoff, "now what you apologizing for?"

"Just that you were having a hard time, you don't deserve a hard time."

"You, however, deserve a flick too."

"No fucking way."

"Not fair."

Lou reaches over to pinch my cheek, "aw love, deal with it."

I still feeling like I got splashed with water. Lou returns to his yoghurt like nothing happened— which nothing did. So I shake off the feeling, steering us back to the original conversation. "So you threatened to kill yourself then?"

He nods.

"What happened after?"

"Got the beating of my life which ended with me apologizing to my mum because she was crying while whooping my ass."

I let it sink in before doubling down in laughter. One of my hardest, loudest laughter ever.

"Oh shush, it's not that funny."

"You--" I look at him and I double over again hysterical.

"Fine, laugh at me while I sit here."

"You're such a bad adviser!" I manage to force out mid laugh.

Lou starts laughing too. "It could work with you."

"No way, my mum would do more than whooping my ass."

"Fine whatever. Are you done laughing at me now?"

"Nope." I answer, look at him and continue laughing.

"Can we fucking go to number 3 now?"

"What's number 3?" I ask, wiping at the tears that have gathered in my eyes.

"Your love life."

That does the trick of sucking all remaining traces of laughter from me. "What?"

"Your third problem?"

I cough, then clear my throat. "I said it is non existent, so, not a problem."

"Ha, not tricking me." He leans forward, fixing me with his blue fine eyes. "You wanna have one again?"

I blink, then look away to my cup of melting froyo. "Forget it Lou."

"It's not hard to find someone. There's always someone."

"For me it is," and I'm not just referring to my sexuality but also the fact that I don't want someone. I want him back. I don't want to have a love life again, I want to have the love life again.

"Why?" Lou asks me, he's voice smaller and causing me to look at him. "Because you're still in love with Sky?"

"Lou..."

"What if he's not coming back, ever?"

That stabs me more painful than I expect. "Nobody knows that."

"You'd have to move on. Love someone else. I bet there's no shortage of people that love you. You're amazing."

I push my chair back and get up, "I don't want a love life, really."

I don't wait for Lou until I'm outside in the open and find out that I'm fighting back tears. When did I become such a cry baby... It's almost a year for Christ sake!

Lou eventually comes out and we exchange thank you. For showing him the wonderful shop and for the yoghurt. We say bye and go into our separate cars going our separate ways. I think about everything all the way back home. Do I want to love someone else? I'm I even capable? And who? Lou? Would I then start up a relationship or would it become something toxic like what sky and I had?

While thinking of all these I don't know when I take up the long way to my house— the way that goes through Sky's former house first. My car slows as I go nearer... The picket gate is open and there's a man on the lawn. My car jerks to a quick stop and I rush out, almost falling over.

Once upon a time, there was a 'For Sale' sign up. A sign that Jamal and I secretly took care of, hiding it behind a bush so no one could see it. The place has been empty like a semi forest and now after almost a year, there was life on it. My breath sized as I got nearer, this could either be good or bad.

Please don't be bad.

"Hello?" I call out but my voice is small and cracky like I haven't spoken in months. I clear it and try again. "Hello?" This time the man's attention is drawn and he stop packing the grass he was doing, smiling and limping over to me.

"Aye lad, what can I do for you?"

"Good evening and excuse my interruption but what is going on? What are you doing?"

"Evening to you too and um..." He looks at the lawn. "I mowed and now I'm clearing–"

"Oh not that, I mean— why? Did someone buy the house?" I wonder if my dress is visible through my voice.

"Oh," he laughs, showing a missing tooth or two. "Yes, the house is off the market finally."

My face, heart and soul sinks. The man notices.

"Oh dear, don't tell me you were interested? It's been empty for months now."

"No, not that." I sigh. "Who bought it? Who's coming in?"

"Nay, I don't think someone bought it. I heard the real owners are coming back. The former owners."

"What?" It's like someone lighted a match somewhere. "What?"

"Guess Nana Hunt isn't leaving the house after all, aye lad?" He chuckles. "Gotta go back now, thanks for stopping by."

"Thanks," I murmur, glazed as I watched him limp back.

They are coming back?

What?

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