Vito pov

"Today we have a new person with us" I look up from my shoes and nod my head at the people around me.

"Could everyone go around and say your name and say one thing about yourself?"

I watch as an older man goes first.

"Hello my name is Charlie and I like to build things"

"Hi everyone my name is Alissa and my favorite thing to do is drink and that's mainly my reason why I'm here." She says chuckling to herself

Everyone in the circle shares their name one by one leaving me last.

"Wassup ya'll my name is Vito and I like to be around family."

The host nods her head and begins speaking.

"So I can imagine how hard it can be for you to be here."

"So everyone today we will be doing a get to know myself activities. You are going to dig deep into yourself and be honest with yourself about who you are. No lies ,explain how you feel about being you. You could feel like you're putting up a façade, you could feel like you're the smartest in the world. You can put anything just be positively honest with yourself."

I don't even know what to say. I hurt my body just because I couldn't cope with my demons. My heart really aches out for Madison. That's my baby no matter how much we argue I still love her.

"I got you a paper."

I look up to see the older guy Charlie. I grab the paper and pencil from his hand.

"Aren't you that big club owner?"

I nod my head and turn my head not really wanting to speak.

"Ain't no reason for you to be ashamed. We all have issues that need to be dealt with. The question is can you get over them?"

" what you in here for young"

"Drugs"

"Yeah those can get you in a hole. You have a lady at home?" Charlie asks

"Something like that. She has my baby" I respond

"Well man that's your lady. You love her enough to have unprotective sex, am I right?"

I nod my head before running my tongue over my chapped lip.

" she knows about you and these drugs?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

I stand up from my seat and head out the room to the room I'm staying in.

Right now I just want to see Layla and be hugged up with her. I miss my daughter. This shit is breaking me deep. A knock to my door startles me, making me look up to see the host.

"Vito are you okay?" She asks giving him a small smile

"Peachy... just miss my daughter" I let out.

" You know once your first two weeks in the family can come see you."

"So I have to wait two weeks to see my kid? Mam no disrespect but I don't even need to be in this shit. I slipped up and did some shit. I'm not a regular user. This was only my third time. Please...please let me be able to see my daughter."

"Once I get confirmation from Doctor Green I can see what I can do"

The host turns around and exits my room without another word

I walk over to my baggage and dig my hand into the front part of my suitcase taking a picture out of me and Layla. I press the picture against my lips and smile at it before putting it back.

Me and Madison might not be each other's soulmate but I love that girl so much that I'd give my own life for hers. I'll kill anybody over her. No matter how this ended I will still remember the good times we had.

Another knock to door makes me look up from my hand.

"Come in"

"Oh you again" I say lowly

" Doctor Green says it's okay with you seeing your daughter and family and my name is Kelly."

"Thank you Kelly."

" a couple of us are going to be watching movies later in the movie room. You're welcome to join us if you want."

"I'll think about it later."

Kelly smiles at me before leaving and closing my door behind her.

I paid them extra to have my own room to myself. I'm not a fan of sharing my room with people. I sit back at my desk and pull out a pen from my back pocket. Doctor Green explained to me that it's important that I should write about how I feel everyday. She also told me that I should try avoiding Madison for a while.

Daily entry 1

I mean so far it isn't that bad. I miss my baby girl and I wish I hadn't flipped out and not been able to see her. It's definitely better to be here instead behind the prison walls. I don't want to let go of Madison. That's my baby forever. Five years from now she could be walking down the aisle with another man and I'll be there in front cheering her on. We both deserve happiness.

I lay the pen on the desk and let out a breath before groaning.

A knock comes to my door.

"Come in"

" Hello Victor"

"Doc"

"I know this might be a bit of a struggle for you but trust me in due time it will all get better."

" When can I see Layla?"

"You can have someone bring her in two weeks"

" Doc I'm no hard drug feen. It was only three times"

"Victor, do you know that you could have harmed Madison badly. The way you looked at her showed it all over your face that you wanted so bad to harm her just as the same way she did to you. That's what drugs do to you"

"I DIDN'T FUCKING MEAN IT OKAY! YOU KEEP SAYING THIS LIKE I DON'T KNOW ALREADY!"

"when she touched you that triggered you, why is that?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Sooner or later you're gonna have to talk about it. I'm not trying to harm you Victor but you're putting a whole pause in this process right now."

I bite my bottom lip trying to contain the tears wanting to spill out. I look up at her and slump in my seat a little. Never realized how good Doctor Green actually looks. She looks like a knock off version of Nia long.

"When I was young, about nine or ten years old I told my father that a female friend of his had touched me inappropriately. The female was weird she'd touch on my ass and told me that she was only making me feel good and if I didn't like it then I must've been gay. When I told my pops about her he slapped me up and asked me if I had been liking men. I plea-pleaded and told him no but he didn't want to hear me. He sent for a man and shot him right in front of eyes and told me that's how you be a man."

"Where was your mother when all of this was happening?"

"Wanting to be blind by what she saw"

" Victor I'm so so-

"I don't want your sympathy" I said putting my hand up in silencing her

"You never told Madison this?"

" Besides my parents you are the only person I told this to"

Doctor Green drops her purse and walks towards me quickly embracing me in her stomach.

"Let them out. You will feel way better when you cry it out"

"I'm tired of crying doc"

The knot in the back of my throat is tiring me out.

"Victor, this is deeper than you may feel. Turning to drugs when your feeling down isn't a healthy mentality. I can see now why you're so tired. For the sake of your child please take the time and get active while you're here. Meet new people and try to take it easy"

When she lets me go it's like a coldness enters my body.

"Can you hold me?" I ask looking up at her

She nods her head and keeps her arms wrapped around my body. I move my head back and look up to make eye contact with her.

"Doctor thank you alot"

"It's my job"

Madison

The last thing I wanted to do was drive him to the edge. I try my best to get back on his good side. I admit that staying in New York without telling him I was pregnant was wrong. I should have said something but I'm only human. We aren't perfect and we make mistakes nearly everyday.

"Madison honestly I feel like you should stay." Raymond says sipping on his glass of wine

I wish I could have a glass of wine.

"Ray I done caused so much pain already to his life"

" sooo you don't think leaving with his child would cause him more?"

"Raymond, I just want to be able to restart everything. I wish I never made him leave my bed that day to go to Mexico. I wish his mother wouldn't have told me what he does. I wish I could have been that down bitch he needed. I'm sorry I'm not that girl but it's just not me" I whine

"Maddy honestly boo... just be yourself. If he can't accept that you're just this sweet dainty girl then forget the whole relationship. For the past two years of knowing you I realized you changed. You were different before you met him. Every morning you came to the office with all smiles even when Mr.Rad used to boss you around to do stuff.

" umm Raymond that was my job I was his assistant."

"Girl you get what I'm saying. Overall you're just a different girl. He took your innocence and that shit changed you."

" He treated you well but you weren't ready for all of that, were you ?"

" I guess not"

"Your young and he should of took that in consideration that maybe you didn't want to be tied down."

" honestly I just wanted the sex. I just wanted to feel what the hype was about"

" and you sure felt it" he says pointing to my stomach

"He's super good in bed. Gosh that's one thing I'm going to miss about him

"Were you not listening to me this whole time where the hell are you going?"

"Raymond I'm not going anywhere I'm talking about our relationship. It will never be the same.

" you need to be seeing that damn therapist too"

" I guess I coul-

" their is no I guess I could. Your going to see her and your going to speak with her about getting yourself back on track "

A smile spreads on Raymond's lips before he stretches his arms out

"Now give me some love"

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One thing I can say about Voluptuous is that it has more drama in it and that's the whole point. Book one wasn't really up to my liking. I didn't really write it how I truly wanted to ,so book 2 makes up for it.Alot of yall seem to question Madison's decision but I want y'all to really put yourself in her shoes. When I write I write to make it as realistic as possible. Life isn't all peaches and cream and shit happens.