⋆ ——————— shaurya ⋮ ⋆

I rolled to my side, rubbing my eyes and stifling a yawn. My eyes squinted to find Sitara but in her place, her peach-coloured socks lay discarded in the most twisted way possible. I assumed she must have gone somewhere.

Sitara lied to her parents that she was staying at her friend’s and came here instead. We had video-called my sister and ended up talking to her for an hour. Amara was more than happy to do so since she didn’t have anyone to talk to. Both of them had talked about marriage and somewhere in the middle of the saree discussion, I had dozed off. I woke up once when Sitara accidentally knocked the bowl on the bedside table when she fumbled for the switches. Then I'd gone back to sleep.

I grabbed my phone to check my messages. I frowned at the mail titled RESPOND ASAP and went through the issues the company’s website was facing. I was trying to understand the root of the problem when Sitara’s voice came from inside the bathroom.

“Shaurya?” She called. “Are you awake?” She knocked on the door from inside. I stood up from the bed and padded to the bathroom. “What’s wrong?” I asked, standing just outside the door.

“By any chance, do you think there might be pads here? Maybe in your mother’s room?” She asked.

“I don’t think so. Why?”

“I just got my period and I didn’t bring any with me,” she said, a little frustrated at the situation.

“Okay, don’t panic. I’ll go get it from the store, okay?” I said. She told me the brand’s name and a few specifications. “Will you be alright in here?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’ll just take a shower. Can you pass me the clothes from that tote bag?”

I fumbled through the bag and took the set of clothes she had clearly stuffed inside hastily. I passed it to her.

“I’ll be back before you are done, okay? Do you need anything else?”

“Heat patches if there’s any available,” she said.

“Okay.”

“And Shaurya?”

“Yes?”

“I love you,” She said and I smiled, leaving the room and grabbing my keys.

When I was in school, girls would sneak pads from their bags into their pockets and rush to the bathroom. Or when they stained their pants, they would lower the strap of their school bags so that the stain wouldn’t show. We boys knew what it was but no one ever dared to comment on it. It was almost like a banned topic of discussion for both the genders.

At home, it was exactly the opposite. Ma casually discussed it with Amara in front of me. In the beginning, I would get out of the room whenever the topic came, feeling embarrassed. But when once, Ma forced me to go buy pads for my sister, I had no other choice. I would never forget the look on the shopkeeper’s face when I asked for it. He had smirked at me. I felt so disgusted that I told Ma I wouldn’t go again.

But she sat me down and explained how there was nothing to be embarrassed about. ‘It is normal,’ Ma had said. After that day, I didn’t mind the period talk anymore nor was I ashamed to get what my sister needed. I never cringed at the word periods, or forced myself to look away when someone slipped a pad to someone else. It didn't phase me anymore. Ma had made sure of that.

Never had I imagined that that small thing which Ma imprinted in me would catch a girl’s attention and then bridge the way to develop a special bond between us. I was glad that Sitara didn’t have to hide anything from me or turn all shy to talk about it. And I knew that's what the ‘I love you’ she had said was for.

⋆ ——————— sitara ⋮ ⋆

I wanted to slap myself with a bamboo chappal for forgetting to pack pads. Last morning, I had remembered that it would start either today or tomorrow but it completely vanished from my mind later in the evening. I felt bad for sending Shaurya all the way to the store so early in the morning but I got to admit, this ranked number one among the sweetest things he had done for me.

My stomach twisted, sending a shot of pain through me. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself. Shaurya knocked on the door just in time. I put my hand outside to grab it.

He passed it to me but not before playfully pinching my hands. I slapped him and heard his loud chuckle before I locked the door again.

When I stepped out in my kurti and my leggings, he eyed my outfit. “Is that comfortable?” He asked.

“It’s the only thing I have. I had to wash these pants too,” I shrugged, walking to the balcony to hang the wet clothes to dry.

“You can wear something of mine if you like,” He said. I pretended to consider it when on the inside I was screaming. I clipped my wet clothes on the line and went to his closet to pick something for myself. I noticed a tiny blue box with a white bow on it.

"What is this?" I asked, showing it to him.

He rushed to me as if I had discovered his biggest secret. "You are not supposed to see that now."

He took the box from me and hid it behind him. I crossed my arms over my chest. "What is that, Shaurya? Show me."

"No."

"Is that for me?"

"Um, maybe," He said.

"Then, give it to me, you idiot," I tried to grab it from him.

He paused a few seconds and then said, "That's your birthday present. But, since you will not be here with me on that day, you can have it now."

My heart melted. My birthday was in February and he had already bought me a present? I wanted to smother him with hugs.

He took my hands and made me sit on his lap before giving me the present. I opened it too eagerly and my jaw went slack at the delicate pendant. It was a silver constellation of stars, intricately designed and feathery light in my hands.

"Because Sitara means star and to remind you of the night we met under the stars," He said softly. "This is an Aquarius constellation, your sign."

"This looks so expensive," I mumbled, running my fingers over it.

"Yes it is, but you deserve it. You should know you are more worth than what you assume to be. You deserve the world, Sitara," He said, gently taking it from my hands and clasping it around my neck.

He traced the pendant on my skin, admiring it with a satisfied nod. I threw my arms around him. "You are my world, Shaurya," I whispered.

Shaurya held me close. "I love you."

I kissed his cheek. "Thank you so much. I love it."

He simply smiled and walked to the closet. “Here,” Shaurya handed me a brown hoodie.

He pulled out a pair of joggers from underneath his clothes. “I think this will fit you.”

It was a little longer but it was okay. “How come you have such small pants?”

“I got it in my twelfth grade. It was my favourite pair so I kept it. I guess it was meant for you all along,” He said, shutting the door. I changed into his clothes and I wanted to dance in the bathroom because of how good it smelt— the same scent of musk and pineapple but this time, a little dominated by the smell of detergent.

I opened the door and grinned at him, twirling in my new outfit. He shook his head and laughed.

✦

“Oh, this looks interesting,” I said, reading the movie plot. Shaurya crushed a biscuit wrapper and added it to the growing collection of empty packets and covers. He had gone the extra mile and bought me chocolates and biscuits to munch on. He said his sister once told him that it helped. And apart from that, he even let me share his stash of Oreos. This should be enough proof that he loved me.

“Ohm Shanthi Oshaana,” I read the title on the screen. “Can we watch this movie? It’s in Malayalam.”

“I don’t care. Play anything,” he said, dusting the crumbs of his shirt. I clicked on the movie and then snuggled into Shaurya’s chest. He was quietly munching on Oreos, his arm wound around my back and tucked under mine. As the introductory credits got over, he put away the packet and pulled me closer to his chest.

The movie started playing and then he softly brushed his lips on my neck. I slapped his arm, smiling. He balanced his chin on my shoulders and then watched the movie quietly, laughing at a few jokes. “Is this female character behaving just like you or am I imagining things?’ He asked.

“I admit we have a few similarities,” I said, surprised. “She is very cute, though.”

“That’s a similarity too,” Shaurya mumbled, making me flush lightly. He was smooth. I’d give him that.

“How is the pain?” He asked.

“Much better,” I said, lifting my fingers to play with his hair.

“Good.”

“There is only a week until we get engaged,” I reminded him.

“Nothing’s gonna change,” He said, twining his fingers with mine and dipping his head to kiss me lightly. “I will always keep loving you more.”

I brought his head closer and kissed him.

Two months earlier, if anyone had told me that I would be cuddled on the couch with my boyfriend, with him feeding me chocolates and kissing me to make me feel better while we watched Malayalam movies, I would have chased them away for building my hopes up for something that was never gonna happen. That was just wishful thinking. Or so I had thought.

But now, I’ve realised it’s alright to hope for things that sound trivial, silly or even impossible. Because sometimes that’s all we can do — close our eyes and hope for good things to come when Fate rolled its dice.

And so, I hoped again.

I hoped for a life full of shameless flirting with Shaurya, kisses that spoke more than words, hugs that meant everything and smiles that lit up each other’s eyes; times when I save him from spiders and he never lets go of my hand in the dark; years building a family, raising children and loving them equally and most important of all, moments when we look at each other and know that, together we feel utterly blissfully complete.

⋆ —————— THE END —————— ⋆

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